Learning to embrace Spontaneity

We are well and truly into the throes of Autumn here, weather that changes from gloomy grey, heavy showers and bright blue skies all in the space of a few hours.  It keeps you on the toes and you never quite know what clothes to wear.  If the sun is out it can be really warm but the second it goes behind a cloud it is baltic.   I always feel like it takes longer to get out of the house at this time than it does in the depths of Winter when many layers are an absolute must.  You never quite know which coat to wear, if at all, do I need a waterproof? hat? gloves?  I usually end up packing them all into a bag which they invariably never leave, but I know that that one occasion I don't is when I will need them.

For the second or maybe third year running, I have not been keeping track, my sunflowers have decided that this is a good time for them to burst into flower.  Whilst most other plants in the garden are dying back, they are blooming away, a burst of sunshine amongst the decay.  I am hopeless at growing flowering plants, I think they collude behind my back, but this waiting until it turns cold before flowering, whilst rather wonderful and cheery is also a little baffling.  Perhaps I should just stick to edibles, they seem a little easier to master.

We have slowly found our groove with a rhythm gradually evolving and revealing itself as we find our feet with a new college timetable to work around.  Cameron is totally settled into his new course, Alice is still trying to find her way.  She is really missing being part of a group of friends, we are looking at ways to make that possible.  She is not ready for too many new things, they feel just a little too much right now, the recent changes have not yet settled for her.

As we have transitioned into our Autumn rhythms, I have also been reflecting back on the Summer.  It was a super busy one this year, maybe a little too full at times but I did love each and every one of the things we did.  The heat, the sunshine, feel like a distant memory now.

My house was very neglected for a few months.  I usually do cleaning and tidying as part of my morning rhythm, this was totally abandoned for most of the summer.  The laundry was about the only thing that got regular attention, the kitchen surfaces stayed clean and I waved a cloth at the bathroom when things looked bad.  I was pleased that I did not notice the dust bunnies having a merry party in plain sight.  They were invisible until I started my morning clean again,  I think they have mostly been moved on to new party locations.

Our summer days had a very different flow to them this year, we completely abandoned our structured learning time which we only usually stop if we are away or have guests.  As we spent most of the summer doing one or the other it is unsurprising that the days when neither were happening there was none of that going on.  On those rare days that we were at home without guests or a trip away to get ready for, we were busy just being.  Resting.  Doing whatever felt right for the day ahead, the hours slipping by so fast that it felt like breakfast was followed by tea.  Learning still goes on all the time, structured learning time is not always visible in this house, only when it is requested.

There was a time when I used to worry about those days where you did whatever felt right.  They felt wasteful as often they seemed to disappear in a flash of nothing.  I had nothing to show for them, it has taken me years to realise that you don't need something to show every single day.  Some days don't have measurable evidence of achievement, and you need those days too.  They are an important part of the balance, not everything we do needs or indeed should be measurable.  Those hidden achievements are the building blocks of life, the skills that give a foundation for life and are more important than knowing what 126x39 equals or the effect of the Romans on British society.

The summer is a time for spontaneity.  It is so much easier to get out of the house in the summer, there is no requirement for organising clothing which can take as long as you might end up being outside, it has certainly felt like that at times, especially when the children were really little.

I have always thought that I am not very good at spontaneity, it is all too easy to get into a mindset about what spontaneity is.  When we view it through the lens of other peoples life and what they get up to and the bits of their life they choose to share, it feels impossible to replicate in our own life.  Unsurprising really.  We have no ownership of it, it is like trying to fit a square peg in a round whole, it will just not fit.  When I looked at what we had been doing during the summer this year I realised it was spontaneous, it was my spontaneity, our spontaneity. It is not quite a perfect fit more a work in progress.

I didn't need things to be organised well in advance.  I said yes to many things at short notice.  I abandoned all pretence at keeping the house clean and tidy.  I had lovely days that evolved as they went along.  I went to bed when I felt like it.  I had long lie-ins.  I woke really early and went for walks.  We ate meals at random times of the day. 

I loved it, but I know that I could not be like that all the time.  I needed that space over the summer, the change, a break from the norms.  I am loving getting back into my rhythms.  I have welcomed back my mornings, filled with language learning, yoga, cleaning, breakfast, before my focused time with Alice or getting ready to go out depending on the day, like a long lost friend.  

Autumn is my favourite season.  I am totally ready for a slower pace.  I need the rest after all that spontaneity and busyness!

Finding my groove

I wonder how many of you were hearing about the news from China back at the beginning of the year and feeling that it seem so far away, perhaps you felt like me that it could never come our way, could it?  We are all experiencing the strangeness of these times aren't we.  It is so easy to forget this when we are all isolated in our homes.

The news over the last few months has made it feel like the world is slowly unraveling, even with words and pictures it is hard to fathom events that are taking place hundreds of miles away whilst our lives continue as normal but now that most of the world is experiencing this together it feels like it is starting to become undone.

Any major change that we make in our lives is usually given considerable thought to, weighing up the possible effects, we take the time to process it, time that helps us to absorb that change into our lives. Around eleven years ago I walked out of my place of work for what I knew would be the last time, I was pregnant with my second child and was unsure what my days would be like going into the future.  Up until then my life had been defined by education or work, it is what gave shape to my weeks, my days, now I would be home all day, everyday with both my children.  I had time to consider the impact of this, and whilst I couldn't envisage how our days might look, at the very least I had had the time to give this some thought.  Now all our lives have been unexpectedly turned inside out and upside down by events that we never thought would reach our individual shores.  We have had changes to our lives imposed on us, that is never easy to stomach even when we know it is for the best.

We could resist, get angry, feel negative.  It is not going to be easy rarely leaving the house, not being able to connect with people who are not living with you, for weeks on end.  But is this really a good use of our energy?  We like to feel that we know when the end will come don't we, it is incredibly hard not knowing when this will be.  We are not in control.

As my weekly rhythm got slowly whittled down from lots of activities to none over the course of a few days it felt like it was slipping away like a receding tide  How on earth was I, were we, going to manage at home, together for weeks on end.  I knew that I could get angry over what was happening and the effect that was having on our lives, letting the negative feelings in to take hold, I also knew that this was not a good use of my energies.  I had to let this happen to enable me to process what these changes meant to our lives and how I could feel connected to them to start the process of looking forward and thinking about a new rhythm for us all.  I was safe at home, not stuck.

So, with a barrier that I had to learn to live it was time to give thought to a different direction one that revolved completely around the home.  I knew that the children, Alice in particular, were feeling rather confused and upset at this sudden turn of events.  She is a highly social child who loves being in the company of her friends as much as possible.  The experience of staying connected with a dear friend of hers who left our shores last year to move to a new life in a new country suddenly became rather invaluable.  She did not want to lose that connection and they had been having regular video play dates for the past few months.  Video calls are not everyones cup of tea but they are definitely hers and her experience of them made the transition  to connecting with all her friends that way a much easier one to travel.

Having spent much of my time over the past week or so ensuring the the children were coping with this new way of spending their days I realise that I have given no thought to where that left me.  Initially I was surprised at how busy I continued to be, there was a part of me that relished the thought of being at home all the time, I could now get on with some of those jobs I never seem to have the time for.  But it is not really surprising that I am busy, the jobs that fill my time are the ones that make our house tick along.  Keeping the house clean, keeping us all fed.

I spent the early days absorbed in these jobs, enjoying the comfort of them, their familiarity. It is difficult to know what day of the week it is when all the things that anchor your days have drifted away.  I am glad of my housework routine and my meal planning right now, which are both giving me new anchors to my days.  I have come to love being able to totally focus on cooking a meal rather than trying to do several other jobs at the same time.  I downloaded an audiobook to my phone and started listening to it whilst I was cooking, it was such a pleasure, a new experience for me to have the time.  It was soothing to listen to whilst I created a meal.  I got so absorbed in the story that one evening I sat down to eat with the rest of the family and completely forgot that I was still listening!

Slowly but surely the dust of change is settling.  We are finding our way into beating a new rhythm and seeing this time as an opportunity.  We have time for focusing in on each other, time for individual projects, time for our daily exercise. We are keeping at our learning in ways that we can, our French time is now watching videos on YouTube, our new sketchbook arrived this week so we can start a new Nature Journal, we have been sewing, knitting, creating things with wood, building bicycle wheels from scratch and tending to the garden.  My seed order arrived and I have been busy burying them in the soil.

I found myself worrying that I won't want to restart all our activities when the time comes but that is not a good use of my energy.  I am living in the present not the future and although it is good to think ahead that is not something I could be usefully doing right now.

I wonder how you are all finding ways to fill you time right now?

A window into a day

Just over a year ago I recorded everything that we did in a day and then posted about it, I thought it would be interesting to do it again* as things are always changing on the learning front in this house.  I am sure that most home educators, whatever route they choose, have many wobbles about what they are doing.  Should I have more structure to our day, should I follow a curriculum, should I just let them go in whatever direction they want to?  What we all want is the best for our children whether their learning takes place mostly at school or all at home and being in sole charge of that can feel like a somewhat daunting task, if we let it.  If I relax and enjoy it and plan what I need to and not worry when that plan doesn't always work, then there is always tomorrow.

Cameron has changed a huge amount in the last year.  He has gone from not really wanting much input at all from me to looking to me to help me and guide him in his learning.  I am not teaching him, we are not having formal lessons but there is a definite need on his part for a little more structure.  That structure brings with it a happy, peaceful child who is interested in so much, less structure and he flounders and looks lost.

I was woken by Alice informing me that she had a wobbly tooth after which she got into bed with me for a cuddle.  Cameron came in a few minutes later and opened the curtains declaring that we must come and look as it was quite bright outside.  This is all relative you understand as it has rained pretty much everyday this month so far, it was still cloudy but the cloud was white rather than grey.  We all looked out the window for some time observing the birds in the garden and the field on the other side of the road.  Cameron correctly identified some small birds in the field which I could only do with binoculars.  He has most definitely overtaken me in some bird identifying stakes he can do so by their behaviour and flight now.

We all got dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast.  We have taken to trying to eat this together something we manage some mornings.  At this time of year we often light the candles we have on the table and we talk about what we are going to do during the day and what time we want to do the things we have planned to do at home.  Four days of the week we are at home all morning and then go out in the afternoon, three of those days we have lunch at home too.  I try and drink at least two pints of water and then wait half and hour before eating my breakfast so I don't always manage to eat with them but I do sit at the table with them even if I am not eating.  Alice has taken to wanting to play a board game during breakfast something we started in September and has carried on.  On that morning the game was Bus Stop, a great game for practicing addition and subtraction, so it was maths for breakfast.

Straight after breakfast they usually have some time on the computer/tablet.  Cameron was using Lego Digital Designer to record a model he made with lego so that he can make it again in the future should he need to break it up,  Alice was watching Numtums (more Maths) on CBeebies.  They usually do this most days and it gives me a chance to do jobs round the house like the tidying, changing the beds or hoovering.  On that morning it was the washing that got my attention, emptying the sheila maid of yesterdays wash and putting it away before putting a new load in the machine.  I love the smell of line dried washing but it has been a while since I have been able to hang any outside, however we have a sheila maid in our bathroom which we use with the window open its a sort of half way house as even on a cold wet day the washing will dry in 24 hours.  I also put some beetroot to roast in the oven for tea and sewed a few seams on a quilt I am making and a present for my nephews.  I am loving having my sewing machine permanently ready to go, it has transformed my sewing experience, it is so much more productive.

When Cameron had finished up on the computer we had a game of fraction dominoes.  I went on a maths course earlier in the year.  Despite it being the subject I am most confident about helping my children to learn I am always on the look out for new ways to learn this valuable subject.  I knew that the lady running the course was very into learning through games so I hoped to pick up some new ones, which I did.  I also realised that Alice needed regular maths sessions each week if she was to progress beyond numbers 1 - 5 (which is where she was at at the start of the course in March).   So I now plan at least three, sometimes four, maths sessions each week.  They are not usually very long but as they are one to one I don't think they need to be.  I can see a definite improvement in both of their maths skills since introducing this back in the late spring.  Alice can now count beyond 100, do basic addition and subtraction, knows all her number bonds up to 10, and has just been learning the concept of multiplication.  Cameron is now confident at complex addition and subtraction, he knows most of his times tables and is competent at division.  He was really reluctant to learn his tables so I moved onto fractions, percentages and decimals.  I introduced the concept of fractions, wrote a few on our blackboard to show how they are written down and what they represent and then starting using the first set of fraction dominoes.  We have worked our way through the sets, by set three we were on to equivalent fractions (now he could see the importance of those dreaded times tables) and now we are onto to equivalent fractions, percentages and decimals.

At some point in the morning we devote some time to project work.  We have just finished a project on the human body, we are taking a short break from projects before our Advent celebrations so they wanted to use that time to do some work on Beaver and Scout badges.  I had spent some time the previous day going through all the badges in their scouting sections and printing off what they needed to do.  Alice decided on the Cooks Activity Badge and Cameron the Model Maker Activity Badge.  Cameron went off to build a complex lego model, a passport control complex of buildings whilst Alice learnt all about healthy eating and started to write it all down.

Whilst I was making dinner** Cameron emailed a couple of pictures of his model to his Scout Leader (ticking off a requirement for his Digital Citizen Badge - they are very 21st Century these scouts now you know) to ask if he could bring his model to the meeting that evening.   He is going to work on a Local Knowledge badge next which requires him to produce a map of all the facilities within a 5K radius of our village, in the New Year we are going to do a project on the weather so he can complete his Meteorologist Badge.  Alice got the cuisenaire rods out and starting making a picture of us all out for a walk in the sunshine, now that would be lovely can you send us some if you have any to spare?

After dinner we headed out in the car to their French class.  Back in September at one of the home ed meet ups we go to one of the mums was lamenting the fact that the french class she started for a few children was no longer viable as all the other children had gone back to school and her two didn't want to do it on their own.  Several mums said they were interested and now the class is back on.  They have been to three sessions now and are absolutely loving it.  I have always known that there were a few subjects that I would not be able to easily do at home, languages being one of them.  Cameron learnt some French when he was at nursery but I found it really difficult to keep that up once nursery had finished.  The class is one hour and the teacher speaks in French the whole time, she does it through songs, lots of actions and repeating sentences over and over.  The drive to the class is fairly long, as is most of the driving to and from activities we go to.  We have taken to borrowing audio books on CD from the library and listening to them, so our listening this time was Alice's Stories by Tim Kennemore.

Once we got back home, after a very wet drive home witnessing two accidents on the road, it was time for cooking tea.  Cameron laid and lit the wood burning stove, Alice tidied up and I cooked Beetroot and Feta Salad and Falafel.  Tuesday is a busy day for us as once we have eaten its time to clear up and prepare for Cameron and myself to go out, Cameron to Scouts and me to orchestra with my husband away a lot at the moment this takes some organising.  When I walk out the door to go to French I know that every minute of the rest of my day is accounted for!  I don't get home until nearly 10pm so the children are sound asleep I have to wait until the morning to find out how their evening has been.  Cameron got his model maker badge and the Scout of the Week award (Alice came home with the Beaver equivalent the day before) I am not a fan of rewards, in fact I loathe them but I know that these were received with pride and that neither of them will have changed their behaviour to get them.

So it is probably time for me to end this really long post, I hope I haven't bored you to tears rambling on about my day.  I had hoped to share more photos with you but it was such a dull dark day that my photos were not worth sharing, except the domino set which I thought you might like to see.  It was interesting for me to read and compare with this time last year, I wonder what our day will look like in another year?

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*Tuesday 17 November
**midday meal, my granny grew up in the North of England so it was always dinner in our house, despite growing up in the South where it is more usually called lunch.

Connecting

We had a really busy summer.  August, which feels like ages ago now, was almost filled to the brim with camping or getting ready for it.  We had more nights under canvas than at home.  But rather than feeling like it was an out of control frenzy it was all rather relaxed and immensely enjoyable.

In the depths of winter it is really difficult to say no to opportunities that will take us camping.  Despite my best intentions I have often ended up with a really full diary for the six weeks that the UK schools are on holiday in the summer months.  In past years the weeks we were at home would be business as usual, going out to our groups, meet ups and other activities, and in between shoehorning, not very successfully, preparation for going away.  It was all rather stress inducing.

I remember, when I had not long entered the world of work, many colleagues moaning about how they hated their jobs.  My naive twenty something self often wondered why they didn't just look for another one.  But there is something reassuring and comforting about the familiar even if we don't really like it.

I know that I have always had in the back of my mind a time when I was at home so much it became overwhelming.  A very young baby and giving up work to enter our new venture into officially home edding my eldest, I had yet to find my way around the home edding community, it was really isolating.  But tipping the balance the other didn't work for us either.

So when I realised that we had nothing in the diary for the weeks in August we were to be at home I didn't, for once, try and pro-actively fill them.  I went with the flow choosing whatever came up that would work for us all.  That relaxed planning meant that I was able to get ready really slowly and steadily and that when I got to where we were going I was relaxed.  Many a time I have been away on 'holiday' only to feel like I need another one when I get back!

We have visited some beautiful parts of our country.  We spent time walking, talking and admiring the views.  We had one day of rain the whole time, now don't get me wrong I don't dislike rain but when you are camping it can be really hard work.  It didn't matter how long anything took to do, well most of the time, there were a few occasions we had to be somewhere at a certain time.  When we got completely soaked one evening cycling to meet with a group I managed to turn it into an adventure, one which we laughed about later.  We lived in the moment, connected to each other and our surroundings.

Now that is all over I am also glad to be at home.  For the first week I didn't look for activities to fill the diary.  I did worry that the 'we are staying at home today' answer to 'what are we doing today' would be met with frowns but not a bit of it, not even this far down the line.  We were far too busy in our rhythm by end of July, one group has finished completely and another has yet to start yet, this feels so much better, for now.  I am sure it will change as it always does but I do need to gently remind myself to keep space in that rhythm for nothing planned.  It is no good keeping your head above the water if you not able to swim gently but are struggling to remain afloat.

Shoots

We have been learning about the sun, moon and stars recently.  We started with the sky which we learnt gave us maps and our calendars.  A measurable day with the hours of daylight, the phases of the moon, our months, and the earth's cycle round the sun our year, but what of the seasons?  Nowadays there seems to be an arbitrary change which bears no relation to what is happening outside our doors.  We lament the time it takes for Spring to arrive, perhaps we are trying to ushering it in when it is not ready.  Our ancestors were not slaves to clocks and calendars like we are, they were much more in tune with what was happening around them, the phases of the moon, the lengthening/shortening of the days and all that those changes herald.

So rather than thinking that Spring should be arriving at the beginning of February after Imbolc/Candlemas or at the beginning of March because that makes everything neat and tidy, I am looking forward to Spring from now on after the Equinox of today.  The change in the season often marks a change in our rhythm.  A few years ago I came to realise how important this was to me and the children.  It anchors our days and week with its familiarity.  It isn't the same all year round something that I resisted for a while, in those early days.  I could feel it slipping away from me, a rhythm that worked in the Autumn and Winter was not right for the Summer and vice versa.  We spend far more time outside and are usually a lot busier in the warmer/lighter months balanced with quieter time hibernating during the cooler/darker months.

It is a constant balancing act.  One which I don't always get right.  Its hard work, if I look away or loose my focus it sags and we all lose our way for a bit until I get it back on track.  I have to write everything down, if I don't I forget things I have too many balls in air to keep track of everything in my head, writing it down is what works for me.  I have to make the time to plan the specifics of each week otherwise we start to drift.  I use a diary, one of these, with a diary page on the left and ruled page on the right.  When I am planning ahead or come across an event that might interest us,  I use post it notes stuck to the relevant page which I can move if I need to, and reuse as I write on them in pencil.

Over Advent we found a lovely way to celebrate which focused our learning towards topics or projects.  This really worked for us and we have continued that for this year.  We have learnt about birds, mammals and now were are focusing on the sun, moon and stars.  This topic has been really successful, the children have loved it and I can see this continuing for many weeks to come, after that?  Well, we will see.  Balanced with our learning at home we also venture out and about, some weeks this is every day which I am still pondering over whether this is too much, especially if we are busy at weekends too.  I always need to be aware of the bigger picture and make lots of use of the year planner in my diary to make sure that I can 'see' this, but I don't always get it right.........particularly when I say yes to things without checking my diary first!

I know that last year our late Spring and Summer weeks were far too busy, rushing from one thing to another we lost our focus and our rhythm stopped.  This year I need to work on how to fit in all the lovely things that we like to do outside, especially making good use of the outdoor pool in our village, and balance this with quiet time at home.  The garden needs to be fitted in too, it got rather neglected last year at times.

So in a week where, we have seen the green shoots of Spring in some places*, we have played in snow drifts, we have worn many layers, and shed the coats completely feeling the sun on our faces, the shoots of something new are starting to take some form in the continuous and exciting journey of home education.

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* like different parts of the country and different countries in the northern hemisphere the timing of green shoots can really vary.  This photo was taken a half an hour drive from where I live, the shoots are much bigger than where I live.

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This, blogger tells me, is my 700th post!

Our days....

One of the things I most often get asked as a home educator is what does a typical day look like.  I find this incredibly difficult to answer as I suspect most of us would if asked the same question.  I have often said that to an outsider it might look like we are not doing very much, most of our days are probably similar to how you might spend a weekend (if you have children that is).  I also suspect that they are waiting to hear how we do our lessons and mentally ticking off the various subjects as I mention them.  We don't do any teaching in this house something that I know is hard for people who are not home educating to comprehend, most of us have learnt in a school and that is all we know about education.  It is a radical idea to throw out the lessons, the teaching and let learning happen, it feels like you are stepping into a big void that has the potential to swallow you up and then spit you out saying now that was a daft idea.  In order to understand, or at least comprehend, where I am coming from all your preconceived notions of education need to put to one side, to deschool yourself, difficult I know I have done it too. I do do some preparation, as a framework for the day to ensure it has a good flow to it.  I have read on blogs of other home educators what a day in their house looks like, they have kept track of everything their children have done in a day.  It is something I have been meaning to do for a long time, just out of interest I did this for one day this week.....

...the day started as it sometimes does with breakfast.  I get up before the children and use that time to prepare myself for the day.  I lay the table with all the things they need for breakfast, they help themselves and then clear it away.  Sometimes they eat their breakfast first thing, sometimes a hour or so after they have woken up.  My eldest (E for the rest of this post) did this my youngest (Y for rest of this post) decided to do some colouring first.  Whilst they were both engaged in this we had a conversation about the Robin Hood story, what the various characters may or may not have done and whether it was true, a myth or possibly based on some truths which moved us onto the game of Chinese Whispers a game which is difficult to play with three but we had a go anyway with interesting results, I started with my head hurts, which ended up with no egg yurts!

The house was looking a bit like a whirlwind had been through it so we all spend a bit of time tidying up and putting away, until we could actually see a few surfaces again.  By this time Y had had breakfast and they had both got dressed something that doesn't always happen quite so early in the day, often they get dressed to have lunch.  If we are going out in the afternoon I usually insist they get dressed early on, if we are at home all day I am less bothered.  Having tidied up they then decided to play with the lego in E's bedroom building little objects and playing with the mini figures.  At some point Y wandered downstairs with a Where's Wally? book and looked at it on the sofa.  E followed soon after and sat at his desk playing with a spinning top and watching how it spun, he then attempted to spin it on a slopping surface playing around with the angle and the material, he also tried moving a piece of paper under the spinning top whilst it was spinning, successfully.  A sword fight took place next, with lots of fair play and negotiation about what was going to happen next, how injuries were being managed and other imaginary sword fighters also engaged in the 'battle'.  We had a bit of screen time next with Y watching a few programmes of Nina and the Neurons on CBeebies and E playing a couple of online games and reading a bit more on Tank Encyclopedia.  

We have been practicing the concepts rhythm and beat, last week we listened to lots of different music and played a drum to the beat of each, this week we listened to some poetry and beat a drum to it doing so loudly and quietly I also read out some poems that I had chosen from a wonderful poetry book Rhythm Rhymes (published in the 1960s and now out of print I would expect).  Doing this short activity for a couple of weeks has done wonders for my children's sense of rhythm and beat they can 'hear' it in the music they listen to and I hope if they do play music together they will find their sense of time too.  Next week I think we will either do some conducting the beat and working with playing quietly and loudly or we will move onto some singing and finding our voice.  It was great that when we had finished our rhythm activity they put some music on, danced around to it (in time - hurrah) and played drums.

Whilst I was preparing our lunch, leek and potato soup, they carried on dancing and drumming interspersed with a bit of drawing on paper and on the blackboard we have in our dining room.  At some point they drifted upstairs (leaving me to listen to their music - that happens a lot) and played with lego again acting out dramas with their mini figures.  Lunch was eaten and we sat and shared a chapter of The Hutman's Book about the Moors and a poem Meg Merrilies by John Keats.  If we have lunch at home we always finish our meal with a chapter from our shared book and a poem which I choose related either to the story/book we are reading or the time of year.  On Tuesday which is our 'nature' day we also have chapter from a book Come our of Doors by C.D. Dimsdale which details what nature is up to for each week of the year.  I have tried various ways to share stories and poetry with them and this is what works for us.  I started with the story and then slowly added the other elements.  I know some people start the day with this but my children were not interested then, now it has become an important part of our meals at home together and it finishes our morning too.  If we are going out for the afternoon we will do so after lunch is cleared away.

The day I recorded all that we did, we would usually go out to a friends for the afternoon, for play and singing.  It was cancelled this week so we were at home for the afternoon too.  We played two games immediately after lunch, Home Builders and Winter both co-operative games and firm favourites here.  E really struggles with losing so I bought Winter for him one Christmas and it was a really good move he much prefers these games to ones which have a winner.  We have four of these games now.  It is great that we can now all play these together as Y is old enough to engage in the discussion and be part of the game.

Earlier in the day, when the children realised that singing was not going to happen, Y expressed an interest in walking up the village to the park in the afternoon, as it was dry we decided we would go out for a short time.  I also wanted to pop into the garden centre in the village, it is just a small one but it does sell most things you need, I was after some spring bulbs and hoped they would have some.  Sadly they don't stock them I shall have to go elsewhere.  As we were walking up the village we played I spy with colours and talked about how you could drive a car when you couldn't walk.  They played on the park equipment and we all played tig until we were exhausted and set off home playing I spy and talking about what makes a sentence.

It was tea making time when we got home so whilst I got on with that the children headed upstairs to play with playmobil creating a campsite with a cafe.  Over tea E told us funny jokes and we talked about numbers, adding them together and taking them away, what the biggest number is and how we imagine numbers in our heads.  I shared lots of books with Y after tea, reading them together on the sofa, Y listened in and read some of his own too.  Then it was time for a bath and bed, ending the day, as always, with my settling each child in bed and asking them what was their favourite part of the day.  At this point I go to bed too, settling down to read my book until my eyes will not stay open anymore.

The rest of the week we had more writing and drawing, more lego and playmobil playing, more reading books together, more interesting conversations about a huge variety of topics, a den built played in and then carefully packed away together (not all on the same day), a walk in a local wood and spotting three red squirrels, a day out at forest school, baking biscuits, planting spring bulbs (yes I did find some), more dancing to music.  This is the ebb and flow of our days.

It was interesting that I posted earlier in the week about science, I was pondering whether we needed more in our week and then look what happens when I write it down.........

Hopping

Over the last few months a blog hop has been making its way around the world, moving from one country to another and from one blog to another.  I have read many such posts and on occasions have been tempted to join in myself when a blog author has passed the baton on to one and all.  I have now been tagged by Leigh who writes over at leighside knits so here we are....

What am I working on...

...now that it is Autumn my focus is on my home and my family preparing ourselves for a time when we will be inside much more.  It is the time of year when I feel the desire to clean my house much more than in the spring, when all I want to do is be outside.  Cleaning away all the dust and cobwebs that have accumulated over the Summer when my home is largely ignored.  In the kitchen I am preserving something that I do every year, more of that in another post.  In the garden we are tidying, pruning and picking the last harvests, getting the garden ready for its dormant period over the Winter. The dew is heavy each morning and it won't be long before the frosts arrive for their stay.  Our learning has taken on a new rhythm with the turning of the season, focusing on being inside a bit more as the temperatures cool.  I am creating many things at the moment, ideas in my head and on paper, gifts for birthdays and Christmas, clothing for myself and my family, items for the home.  Working on each a little bit here, a little bit there as and when time allows.

How does my work differ from others in its genre...

           n. kind of style

                                       Oxford English Dictionary       

My style is my own.  I don't know exactly where it fits in.  I love to cook, sometimes following recipes to the letter,  or exchanging ingredients or making a recipe up from scratch.  I write about this sometimes but I am not a food blogger.  I garden, less than I would like to, I use the biodynamic method as a basis.  I write about my garden occasionally but I am not a gardening blogger.  We home educate, like all home educators, we have our particular way of doing this I can, and sometimes do, tell you what we do but not a how to do it.  Home education is our way of life which I write about but it is not the sole focus of my blog, that I fear would be rather dull.  I make and create things mostly sewing and knitting sometimes I share these but lately less so.  My work is different simply because it is mine.

Why do I create what I do...

...almost everything I create has to have a use be it practical, for warmth, for learning or out of necessity.  I rarely if ever create for decoration except perhaps the odd piece for festivals usually for Christmas.  I wouldn't make something just because I liked the pattern.  I apply the same thought process to my making as I do to purchasing something - do I/we really need it?  We are hugely wasteful as a society throwing things away when have no more use for them.  When I look around our home at the items we have created from bits and pieces that were no longer performing their original function it makes me very happy.  It is what my father does and my grandfather and I suspect many of my forebears did.  It is what happens in the 'poorer' nations of the world, the ones we label as 2nd and 3rd world, I struggle to see the creativity in going out and buying new, throwing the old away.  There is one expression that has been much used in our financially straightened times "make do and mend".  This was a pamphlet produced during the war to provide tips for women on frugality and style during rationing.  Now whilst rationing is what we are doing then and now the basis for it couldn't be more different.  For me it speaks of if we make do now then there will be a time when, in the future, we can go back to how we were.  Or perhaps I am being a little too cynical?

How does my creative process work...

...I have had a bit of an epiphany recently, nothing new really..............I have always known that the more organised I am the more time I actually have.  For years the structure and rhythm in my life came from education and employment, then five years ago I found myself at home all the time and for the first time in my life my rhythm and structure was my own well perhaps not entirely my own as I had a baby..........  As the children have gotten older and they move away from me more, the time I have to call my own has slowly increased but, like a rabbit caught in the headlights, my use of this time was not terribly efficient.  Early on in my time at home I started to plan our food, born out of need to get a meal on the table for a young child whilst also caring for a baby.  I have tried various rhythms and structures to our day with varying degrees of success, what I have come to realise is that any changes I make need to be slow and small, big ones meet with resistance.  By thinking ahead about each day, what we will eat, what we will do, timings, doing the preparation necessary in advance if needed, I actually have more time for other things.  I have cleared my head of the clutter of the important parts of our life and made room and time for me to think about other things.  I now know that if am I working on something there will be time to complete it and I have the head space to think about when.  What I need to ensure now is that I don't have another rabbit in the headlights moment and have too many ideas and not enough time to fulfil them.  Slow and steady is my mantra.

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Thank you Leigh for inviting me to join this blog hop, I would like to invite...

Just Having a Yarn

Marigold Jam

...to keep it moving along and of course anyone else who wishes to take part and share your answers........let me know in the comments and I will add a link.  Enjoy your blog hopping!

Seeds

Last week we ventured out one afternoon for a spot of foraging.  We were on the hunt for blackberries and managed to pick five pounds worth.  We were also looking for rose hips which we weren't so lucky with either a human or bird had beaten us to it as the bushes were stripped bare, I left the few that hadn't been picked.  In the morning before we went out we did a bit of investigating and reading about fruiting plants. I thought it would be good to show how these plants germinate, flower and fruit and devised a life cycle of the plant, to any botanists reading this who are squirming as I have used the wrong words - please put me straight!  As I was devising my cycle I was struck by how similar it is to the learning that takes place in our house.

As we enter our sixth year of official home education I can hostly say that I am totally comfortable with it.  Of course I have times when I wobble and wonder what I am doing, but don't we all have them whatever path we choose in life?  I love the groups we engage with, the friends we have made, the activities we join in with.  It has been hard work, lonely at times, especially in the early days, but it is always worth it.  A seed is sown by a variety of sources a book, a documentary, a friend, an idea, which germinates a desire to learn more about it, the learning, growth, happens all over the place and from many sources as it flourishes, flowers, it often leads to learning about other things too, pollination, sometimes following unexpected directions on the way, if the learning, fruit, draws to conclusion (usually temporarily) a new seed is then sown.

Our rhythm has also followed this cycle over the years, evolving from ideas that I try out to see what works best for us.  Now that it is September this is a time of year that I often review it and make changes.  The summer is a time for being outside as much as possible, for going away and for our regular commitments stopping for a time, at the end of August I find myself thinking about the rhythm returning as our groups start up again and the weather turning cooler drawing us into our home more.  This summer has felt more chaotic that usual, my voluntary commitments taking over our lives at times and  I have realised this year that, rather than try and keep the same rhythm going for a whole year I should alter it with the seasons, maybe one for autumn and spring, one for winter and one for summer.  That way perhaps I wouldn't feel like I was fighting to stick to the same rhythm all year and our days and weeks would flow better.  I am still learning what ingredients we need to make our rhythm tick and those seeds of learning sowing and germinating.  So as we head into autumn I have started to pull together some ideas.

A day to focus on music, I added this to our rhythm earlier in the year.  I think I need to more focused on what we are doing each week I have ideas to play instruments new and old, learn some new to us songs, try out some clapping rhythms repeating the focus each month.  In the afternoon we attend a singing group with friends which also includes time for a play.  Sadly we won't be attending the afternoon concerts that I discovered earlier this year, they now clash with Forest School!  I had forgotten about them completely when we were rearranging our day earlier this month, you can't do everything!

A day for nature, outside for the afternoon whilst the weather is still good, birdwatching, bike riding, walking or exploring.  The morning spent with some time learning about something we will see or do in the afternoon.  Perhaps with crafts, stories and poems to enhance our learning.  We have been reading the relevant pages from the lovely book Come Out of Doors : A guide of nature lovers by C. D. Dimsdale, it has a short chapter for each week of the year.  This day may change as the Winter and cooler, often wetter, weather sets in.

A day at Forest School.  This is a whole day activity we leave the house soon after breakfast and return in the middle of the afternoon needing some quiet time with a book or maybe a DVD before tea.  Each week we focus on a topic or theme for which each family prepares facts, poems or short stories to share.  We have a book which each family takes home for the week to write up what we have been doing, adding pictures, the shared facts, poems and stories.  We will do our preparation for this as part of our nature day, most likely making it our focus during the Winter months.

A day at home to rest, tend to the home, garden and ourselves, maybe invite a friend(s) over to play in the afternoon.  I have yet to decide the focus of this day.  I am thinking it should be different each week maybe science, craft, art and something else rotating during the month.  I will see what we feel like doing and what I have had time to prepare.....

A day in our local town, our food shop, a visit to the library to change our books and our weekly swim.  Taking the children swimming regularly has done wonders for their confidence and skills, eighteen months ago neither of my children could swim now they can both swim a length of the pool unaided and jump in the deep end (3m) without fear, but plenty of caution!  One of our local groups sometimes meets on this day and we will join them if they are doing something that takes our fancy.

Interspersed with all this will be lots of play, drawing, maybe some writing, probably some maths.  these all usually just happen and take whatever form the children choose, perhaps doing mental arithmetic in the bath............On the days we are at home for lunch this is the conclusion of our morning, taking our time to enjoy our food together at the table.  We finish the meal with the chapter from our current book I read to them and a poem relating to the season or the days focus, before heading out for the afternoon.

At some point each evening, before bed I tell the children about what we are going to be doing the following day.  If we are going out what time for my eldest, in simpler terms for my youngest, what we need to sort out before we go and when we are likely to be back home.  I find this gives them a chance to think about what they might do and when the next day.  When they go to bed I talk with each of them about their day, asking them what the best thing for them has been and telling them mine, bringing the day to a close.

I am still working on how to fit in all the bits that keep our home ticking over like the laundry, cleaning and hoovering.  The last two need more attention at this time of year when we are in the house more.  The garden also needs some time spending on it to get it ready to overwinter, preparing for next spring.  Whatever we end up doing it is always a matter of balance, of not having too much time out of the home or in it,  of not being too busy, of not having too much structure and maybe most importantly of being mindful that if something is not working then it is not a failure, perhaps a change is needed.  Home education really is a way of life.

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The seeds are wild carrot plants, all in the same patch.  I was struck by their beauty and the different colours of each seed head, I am guessing as a result of different stages?

Dandylion*

The Dandelion puff

Is a very queer clock,

It doesn't say tick

And it doesn't say tock,

It hasn't a cuckoo,

It hasn't a chime,

And I don't really think

It can tell me the time!

                                               Mary Robinson

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For most of this month I have spend the hour before going to sleep making presents for my youngest who has a birthday at the of the month.  The hour of sleep was getting later and later, in my endeavour to get it all finished, I was waking feeling very sluggish.  This was a change from my usual habits, I had been reading for half an hour to hour depending what time I make it to bed, usually going to sleep between ten and ten thirty and waking feeling refreshed and ready for the day.

My day starts before the children's.  I get up and get myself ready for the day, sort out breakfast, any resources we need for our learning, a picnic if we are going out.  It's a time for me, so when the children wake I have usually finished my morning jobs and can focus on the children.  When I get up late this all goes out of the window, and on the odd day it does, but when it is everyday it feels like I am running after a bus that has just left my stop, permanently.  I never quite catch up, the day becomes chaotic and time seems to evaporate. 

In the past I have not wanted a rhythm or routine to my day and week.  I think this is because for so many years of my life the rhythm and routine I was following were not my own, they were dictated by school or work and by the time I was at home in my own space I had no energy left.  When it is just you, or two adults in a household this works, just, but add in children and home education it doesn't, or it didn't for us.  

Nowadays our rhythm and routine doesn't stay the same, it changes with the seasons, but there was a time when I found changes difficult and unsettling.  Looking back I suspect that knowing that something was going to happen on a regular basis was a comfort and easy.  Organising our life as a home edders involves planning and joining meet ups with others and it is so much easier if these are regular.  I now have a good network of people and we are less likely to end up with the week of not seeing anyone as happen so often in those early days.  It is a balancing act though and one that I am still practicing the art of getting right!

Our life right now is in a good place, we have a rhythm and routine that is ticking along nicely.  I focus on the week ahead once a week and keep a balance between busyness and calm, being out and about and at home, spending time with others and time just as a family.  But none of this can happen if I don't focus on me and ensure that I get the time to rest and sleep and to get myself ready for the day ahead so that I can also focus on my family too.

What about you are you a routine and rhythm person or one that throws caution to the wind and goes with the flow?  Or perhaps you have structure for some of the week through school or work and the rest of the time is free flowing?  Do you make time for yourself in your day/week?

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*This is not a typo on my part but the title of a marvellous children's book which I thought was a fitting title for this post, weaving all the ends together.

Exposure

Over the past six to seven years I have read quite a lot about education methods, those adopted in schools and in the home.  There are good parts to all of them, and like all things some parts that are bad or no good for us.  Like a magpie I collect together all the bits I like and use them, I am continually doing so to adapt to the needs of my children.  As a home educator I am in the driving seat when it comes to their education.  I am not a director or a teacher we don't sit and have lessons which I have spent time preparing.  My role as the driver changes from day to day, month to month, year to year.  Sometimes I am a facilitator, a fountain of knowledge, a researcher, a guide, a hand holder, a questioner, a supporter and I could go on and on.....

Sometimes a project is on the go, which we might investigate for a few days, weeks or months often using this book and blog for guidance and ideas.  We might visit the library, draw pictures, research on the Internet, find museums or the like to visit and make these all part of our learning.

Often we talk about stuff, anything that is in their stream of consciousness as they explore ideas and make sense of the world.  Sometimes I can answer their questions, sometimes, if it involves numbers we do it together, sometimes we have to look things up as they are new ideas to me.  I love where these conversations can go starting from one place and ending up somewhere completely different.  It keeps my own brain whirring and active.

We read a lot, we have a house full of books.  There are shelves of them in every room except the bathroom, you will still find them in here left by my children reading on the loo.  You can follow a trail of books round the house like a marker left behind by my eldest as he reads his way through the day.  I feel like a packhorse when we visit the library once a week, with a storysack in one hand and a rucksack stuffed to the gunnels with books on my back.  We even have special shelves for our library books.

I offer activities which I think they might be interested in following a rhythm which evolves all the time.  At the moment the focus of our days is maths on Monday, craft and art on Tuesday, music on Wednesday, language on Thur and science on Friday.  The activities we do are sometimes practical, sometimes theoretical, sometimes ignored, they are left out along with books related to the theme of the day.  A form of strewing an art which I am becoming adept at, I also think of this as exposure.  Showing the children what they could do, what is out there that they don't know about, they are free to choose, taking it further if it piques their interest.  It is a journey with no end which is rather exciting don't you think?

Cycles

The wheel of the year is moving and it feels like a change in the weather is here.  The days are drier, in the main, the sky is occassionally blue and it is slightly warmer.  We are emerging slowly from the grey and wet of this past winter.  It feels like we are emerging from a period of hibernation, it is good to be outside.

At the beginning of last Autumn our week started to evolve into a new rhythm following some major changes in our family life.  At that time we were doing different activities each day at home, coupled with time out side the house with friends, joining groups and being outdoors.  As we moved into the Winter months the rhythm changed again we stopped attending one of our groups and spending so much time outside.  I was really concerned that we would become stir crazy being at home all the time but in reality it hasn't been like that at all.  The last time we had so few organised plans in our week was in the early days of home educating, we hardly knew anyone then and didn't have the confidence to organise things ourselves.  A few years down the line things are very different, if we do have a quiet week it is usually in between busier ones but not so busy that they are hectic, I have learnt that lesson too!

Our mornings are spent at home, in the main, Thursdays we go out late morning.  This is our family time for doing things together.  I offer activities etc based on which day of the week it is but these are not always taken up which I am not concerned about.  I often find that if the are not interested at the time they are later on in the day or the week.  I am not regimental.  Monday is numbers, maths and baking, Tuesday is making things, painting etc, Wednesday is music, Thursday is language, Friday is Science.

We usually have lunch at home together at the table.  We sometimes sing songs, we usually read a chapter or story from a book and some poems related to our theme or interests bringing our morning to a close.

The afternoons are slightly more adhoc, Monday is singing group at a friends house, Thursday is our day to go into our local town, we shop and go swimming.  Tuesdays, now that the weather is changing, is our afternoon outside.  We have had this planned in our week before, to go for a walk once a week on the same day but it didn't really work, we didn't stick to it.  The children were not really interested in going for a walk every week, although they do love being outside.  So I am trying something else for now, a walk, a bike ride, some bird watching, a local ruinous castle with extensive grounds which the children never tire of exploring, alternating between the activities one each week through the month.  The other days?  Well they are time for play dates, visits to musuems and always a day at home for rest and recharging.  We invite friends to join us on a Tuesday if they want to, if they don't we go anyway.

Not so long ago I couldn't manage an adhoc rhythm, I needed regularity knowing that something was going to happen every week on the same day.  I am sure this was a reaction to those early days when I would go for days on end not seeing any other adult other than my husband at the beginning and the end of the day.  I am more confident now, not rebuffed by folks saying no to offers we make.  Our lives are just as busy, with plans made a week or so in advance.  It has a flow to it that I am enjoying. This is how our lives are now in a few months I have no doubt our rhythm will be different as the seasons and my children's interests and needs change.  I am good with this too, in the past I needed it to be a constant.  The future is an exciting place.

Comforting

Welcome to the January 2014 Carnival of Natural Parenting: The More Things Stay the Same
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have talked about the continuity and constancy in their lives. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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I never thought I would be writing about the comfort of things staying the same and how that can wrap you up in warmth and familiarity like a blanket.  Since leaving home my life has been one of moving house constantly, of doing things spontaneously and last minute, of being highly organised at work and completely disorganised at home.  When my first child was born nine years ago there was a popular routine which was constantly in the media at the time, to me it seemed totally bizarre.  When anyone asked me how often does he fed, my answer would always be whenever he needs to I didn't clock watch.  I just went with the flow.  Two children later and I am passed the baby and toddler stages, I can get out of the house in a few minutes and I can plan to do things, some on a regular basis, and I have surprised myself by actually wanting and needing this in my life.

For most of us growing up means attending school, by the time we are in our early twenties we will have spent, in my case anyway, fourteen of those years in education.  This is time spent following someone else's routine and timetable it is hardly surprising that I spent so many years not wanting that in my life any longer.  For me, for my family, it has been about finding a balance, a balance between a routine and free time, I prefer to call it our rhythm.  When the rhythm stops beating or changes I am unsettled for a time until I can get it back into a groove.  The rhythm we have right now is a good balance of meeting with friends, home ed groups, home time and trips out as a family.  The pattern is familiar to the children they know what is going to come next, however it is flexible if one week we don't want to engage preferring to stay at home or do our own thing we can do.  This familiarity is like a anchor for us, it stops us drifting from one day to the next.  It definitely makes us all calmer, I notice a change in my children and myself when our rhythm is not beating as it normally does, the security of it is shattered. Even though we do the same things on the same day each week, each day and each week is different, we have variety through sameness so I am more than happy with it staying the same.

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated by afternoon January 14 with all the carnival links.)

• The making of an artist — Some kids take longer than others to come into themselves, so you have to stick with them, as a parent, long after everyone else has given up, writes Douglas at Friendly Encounters.
• Not Losing Yourself as a First Time Mom — Katie at All Natural Katie continues to stay true to herself after becoming a new mom.
• Using Continuity to Help Change {Carnival of Natural Parenting} — Meegs from A New Day talks about how she is using continuity in certain areas of her life to help promote change and growth in others.
• Staying the Same : Security — Life changes all the time with growing children but Mother Goutte realised that there are other ways to 'stay the same' and feel secure, maybe a bit too much so!
• Harmony is What I'm After — Tribal Mama gushes about how constant change is really staying the same and staying the same brings powerful change.
• A Primal Need For Order and Predictability – And How I Let That Go — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she overcame her primal need for order and predictability once her awareness shifted, opening her eyes to the impact this had on her young daughter. Take a short journey with Jennifer and she bares her soul, exposes her weaknesses and celebrates her new outlook and approach to living life, even in the face of total chaos.
• Breastfeeding Before and After — Breastfeeding has come and gone, but Issa Waters at LoveLiveGrow finds that her relationship with her son is still just the same and just as good.
• A Real Job — Back in high school That Mama Gretchen had a simple, but worthwhile career aspiration and today she is living her dream … is it what you think?
• Comforting — sustainablemum never thought she would want things always being the same, but she explains why it is exactly what her family wants and needs.
• The Other Mums' and The Great Illusion — Marija Smits reflects on the 'great big magic show of life' and wonders if it will continue to remain a constant in our lives.
• Unschooling: Learning doesn't change when a child turns four — Charlotte at Winegums & Watermelons talks about the pressure of home education when everyone else's children are starting school.
• Finding Priorities in Changing Environments — Moving from Maine to a rural Alaskan island for her husband's military service, Amy at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work found that keeping consistent with her priorities in changing environments can take some work, but is vital to continuous health and happiness.
• Keeping it "Normal" — Kellie at Our Mindful Life has moved several times in the last two years, while doing her best to keep things stable for her kids.
• The Evolution Of Our Homeschool Journey — Angela at Earth Mama's World reflects on her homeschooling journey. Homeschooling is a constant in the life of her family but the way in which they learn has been an evolution.
• Sneaking in Snuggles: Using Nurturing Touch with Older Children — When Dionna at Code Name: Mama's son was a toddler and preschooler, he was the most loving, affectionate kiddo ever. But during the course of his 5th year, he drastically reduced how often he showed affection. Dionna shares how she is mindfully nurturing moments of affection with her son.
• Steady State — Zoie at TouchstoneZ writes a letter to her partner about his constancy through the rough sailing of parenting.
• A Love You Can Depend On — Over at True Confessions of a Real Mommy, Jennifer has a sweet little poem reminding us where unconditional love really lies, so it can remain a constant for us and our children.
• Same S#!*, Different Day — Struggling against the medical current can certainly get exhausting, especially as the hunt for answers drags on like it has for Jorje of Momma Jorje.
• New Year, Still Me — Mommy Bee at Little Green Giraffe writes about how a year of change helped her rediscover something inside herself that had been the same all along.
• One Little Word for 2014 — Christy at Eco Journey In The Burbs has decided to focus on making things this year, which is what she is loves, as long as she doesn't kill herself in the process.
• The Beauty of Using Montessori Principles of Freedom and Consistency — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares the continuity of her teaching, parenting, and grandparenting philosophy using a combination of freedom and consistency.
• My Husband's Mini — Crunchy Con Mom shares which of her sons looks more like her husband's baby pictures — and the answer might surprise you!
• Growth Happens When You Aren't Looking — Lori at TEACH through Love is treasuring these fleeting moments of her daughter's early adolescence by embracing the NOW.
• A New Reality Now - Poem — As Luschka from Diary of a First Child struggles to come to terms with the loss of her mother, she shares a simple poem, at a loss for more words to say.
• Making a family bedroom — Lauren at Hobo Mama has decided to be intentional about her family's default cosleeping arrangements and find a way to keep everyone comfortable.
• New Year, Same Constants — Ana at Panda & Ananaso takes a look at some of the things that will stay the same this year as a myriad of other changes come.
• I Support You: Breastfeeding and Society — Despite how many strides we've taken to promote "breast is best," Amy at Natural Parents Network talks about how far we still have to go to normalize breastfeeding in our society.

Junctions

Welcome to the December 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting: The More Things Change . . .
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared stories and wisdom about life changes.
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Sometimes, on this journey through life, we head off down a path not knowing where it is going to head, this can be both exciting and scary at the same time.  Five years ago this was us, it was scary and exciting, my husband gave up well paid employment to become self employed, just to add to the pressure at around the same time I became pregnant with our second child.  The first four years were great with a steady flow of work, then around a year ago it steadily started to dry up to, well, virtually nothing.  When a job was advertised at the company he had been freelancing for it seemed like a proposition that we couldn't ignore, but we were hesitant.

When you are self employed you need to spend time looking for work, selling yourself, it can take a while for the work to come to you.  My husband felt he was not someone who could sell himself and waiting for the work to come to us was not happening, you can't live on fresh air, we did need a steadier income.  But self employment had defined who we were as a family for the previous five years what would that mean for us.  We loved the flexibility, we could do things as a family on any day of the week if we wanted to, we could plan our holidays as and when we desired, we could visit family for extended periods rather than just a weekend, but none of this is possible with no income.

We are a home educating family, we had a rhythm to our week which had slowly fallen apart over the last year as my husbands work became erratic and I was never sure whether he would be in the house or not.  Trying to plan our time at home became so difficult that I simply stopped and I felt like we were drifting like flotsam on the tide with no direction or aim.  We still had days out with groups, I always had something to look forward to and not having it was putting a strain on our relationship, I was working harder to keep it going.  I am so grateful that during all that time we never had any money worries, we had plenty of savings which helped us through the months, I think that strain may have pushed us over the edge.

So he applied for the job, got it and in September returned to being an employee, exactly five years since he had quit.  The few weeks before I was both excited and anxious.  Excited because I could bring back our home rhythms, anxious as to how it would change my husband and our relationship and also how the children would cope with it too, all they could remember was him being self employed and all that that entailed.  The first few weeks were hard everything was so different for the children, it took them a while to get used to daddy being out of the house for the same number of hours on the same days each week.  The week had a new rhythm, daddy at work for five days and at home for two.  I slowly introduced a new rhythm at home building up over the weeks adding new ideas and activities as the days and months went on.  I felt that it was important to take this slowly as too many changes at once could be too much.

Then five weeks into this new journey it had a big test, my father in law who had been ill for some time took a turn for the worse, we got a call late one night to say he may not make it through the night.  So after doing a full days work my husband set off on a four hour journey, late at night.  He phoned a colleague to explain what he wanted to do and by the next morning his employer had told him to take all the time off he needed.  This was so reassuring for both of us, it had been one of our worries knowing that this could happen at any time with the condition my father in law had, to know that his employer was totally supportive.

We are a few months into this journey now and are feeling very settled.  The children have got use to which days are daddy days.  The house feels much calmer.  Our rhythm is flowing gently along.  A few years ago I would have resisted such a change but it has been such a positive move forward for us at this time.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated by afternoon December 10 with all the carnival links.)

• Mature Student — Amber Strocel is embarking on a new adventure in 2014, by returning to a space in her life she thought she'd left behind - that of being a university student.
• And then there were four — Jillian at Mommyhood learned how quickly love can grow when welcoming a second child to the family.
• Handling Change As A Mother (And Why That Takes Things To A Different Level) — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she helps her young daughter navigate change and why it is so important, as a mother, to gauge her own reactions to change.
• Without Dad-One Year Later — Erica at ChildOrganics shares how her life has changed one year after losing her husband suddenly.
• Family Ties — Lori at TEACH through Love realized that her most significant, most painful wound paved the way for her to share her greatest gift.
• Rootless — After Dionna @ Code Name: Mama's parents packed up their home and moved to Florida this fall, she is feeling rootless and restless.
  
• A Letter to My Mama Self in the Swirl of Change — Sheila Pai of A Living Family shares a letter she wrote to herself to capture and remember the incredible changes from the year, and invites you to do the same and share!
• Junctions — sustainablemum explains how her family has dealt with a complete change of direction this year.
• Planning, Parenting, and Perfection — Becca at The Earthling's Handbook explains how most of the plans she made for her adult life have worked out differently than she planned, but she's ended up getting a lot of what she really wanted.
• Why First Grade Means Growing Up... for Both Me and My Daughter — Donna at Eco-Mothering discovers that her daughter's transition into first grade is harder as a parent.
• First Year of Mothering — Mercedes at Project Procrastinot reflects on the quiet change that took her by surprise this year.
• Building the Community YOu Desire — A recent move has Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children working toward setting up a new support network.
• Slowing down in 2013 — A car fire and a surprise diagnosis of Down syndrome made 2013 a very different year than the one Crunchy Con Mommy and family were expecting!
• The Seven Year Cycle — After 7 intense years of baking, birthing and breastfeeding 6 kids, Zoie at TouchstoneZ wonders, "Will I be enough for what comes next?"
• Rebirth — Kellie of Our Mindful Life has found that each of her births leaves her a different person.
• When a Hobby Becomes a Business — This year, new doors opened for That Mama Gretchen's hobby of writing and blogging - it has turned into a side business. She's sharing a bit about her journey and some helpful tips in case you're interested in following the same path.
• 5 Tips for Embracing a Big Change in Your Family — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells about a big change in her family and shares tips that have always helped her family embrace changes.
• Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes — Ana at Panda & Ananaso ruminates on how having a child changed her priorities.
• Homeostasis — Lauren at Hobo Mama is finding that even as elements shift in her life — in cosleeping, homeschooling, breastfeeding, & more — they mostly remain very familiar.
• Sally go round the sun — A new baby brings joy and unexpected sadness for Douglas at Friendly Encounters, as she is diagnosed with a rare genetic condition.
• Embrace it — Laura from Pug in the Kitchen muses about the changes in her family this year and how she can embrace them . . . as best she can anyway.
• Big Change; Seamless but Big — Jorje of Momma Jorje shares how one of the biggest changes of her life was also a seamless transition.
• Celebrating Change — Change feeds Jaye Anne at Wide Awake, Half Asleep's soul. And all the work that seemed like monotonous nothingness finally pays off in a clear way.