09 July 2013

Differences

Welcome to the July 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Learning About Diversity
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how they teach their children to embrace and respect the variety of people and cultures that surround us. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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We humans are a diverse species we come in many shapes, sizes and colours.  Sometimes it would seem, when you read or watch items in the media, that being different is not a positive, there seems to be a desire to be the same.  Sadly this seems to start young and those of us that were bullied in school will, most likely, have been singled out for being for different.  I will never forget a comment made to me around the age of 12 about a friend of mine, why did I hang around with her, she's so fat, I was horrified on two fronts, firstly that anyone could say that about another person and secondly that being fat made you an unworthy person.

If we feel threatened our instinct is to defend oneself.  If someone feels threatened by another's difference their defence can manifest itself as a physical or mental reaction, hurtful words or actions.  The threat is sadly real to that person often due to a lack of knowledge, experience, respect and self confidence.  These are all things that we as parents can influence in our children's lives.  We can open their eyes to our diversity through books, documentaries and discussion.  We can bring people into our lives who are different to us and get to know them.  We can raise them in a respectful way by treating them as individuals, speaking to them as you would wish to be spoken to and listening to and validating their feelings.  We can provide an environment at home which will allow their confidence to flourish, letting them try things safely, giving help only when it is asked for, not comparing them to others and spending time with them and enjoying it not grudgingly.

These are not skills that can be taught, they need to be learnt slowly over time.  They need to be an integral part of family life.  I am confident that my own children are happy and confident with who they are.  That if they are not comfortable with a situation when they are with their friends they can, and do, say so and are respected for doing so, and when they are not they know that they can come to me and will be listened to and if they ask for it will help them out.

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by afternoon July 9 with all the carnival links.)

  • A gift for my daugther — Amanda, a special education teacher for students with multiple exceptionalities, discusses at My Life in a Nutshell how she will enrich her daughter's life by educating her the amazing gifts her students will bring to the world.
  • The Beauty in Our Differences — Meegs at A New Day writes about her discussions with her daughter about how accepting ourselves and those around us, with all our beautiful differences and similarities, makes the world a better place.
  • Accepting Acceptance and Tolerating Tolerance — Destany at They Are All of Me examines the origins of and reasons behind present day social conformity.
  • Differencessustainablemum discusses what she feels to be the important skills for embracing diversity in her family home.
  • Turning Japanese — Erin Yuki at And Now, for Something Completely Different shares how she teaches her kiddos about Japanese culture, and offers ideas about "semi immersion" language learning.
  • Celebrating Diversity at the International House Cottages — Mommy at Playing for Peace discovers the cultures of the world with her family at local cultural festivals
  • Learning About Diversity by Honoring Your Child’s Multiple Heritages — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama looks at the importance of truly knowing your roots and heritage and how to help children honor their multiple heritages.
  • People. PEOPLE! — Kellie at Our Mindful Life is trying to teach her children to use language that reflects respect for others, even when their language doesn't seem to them to be disrespectful.
  • Call Me Clarice, I Don't Care - A True Message in Diversity — Lisa at The Squishable Baby knows that learning to understand others produces empathetic children and empathetic families.
  • Diversity of Families — Family can be much more then a blood relation. Jana at Jananas on why friends are so important for her little family of three.
  • Diverse Thoughts Tamed by Mutual Respect — Amy at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work thinks that diversity is indispensable to our vitality, but that all of our many differences require a different sort of perspective, one led by compassion and mutual respect.
  • Just Shut Up! — At Old New Legacy, Becky gives a few poignant examples in her life when listening, communication and friendship have helped her become more accepting of diversity.
  • The World is our Oyster — Mercedes at Project Procrastinot is thankful for the experiences that an expat lifestyle will provide for herself as well as for her children.
  • Children's black & white views (no pun intended … kind of) — Lauren at Hobo Mama wonders how to guide her kids past a childish me vs. them view of the world without shutting down useful conversation.
  • Raising White Kids in a Multicultural World — Leanna at All Done Monkey offers her two cents on how to raise white children to be self-confident, contributing members of a colorful world. Unity in diversity, anyone?
  • Ramadan Star and Moon Craft — Celebrate Ramadan with this star and moon craft from Stephanie at InCultureParent, made out of recycled materials, including your kid's art!
  • Race Matters: Discussing History, Discrimination, and Prejudice with Children — At Living Peacefully with Children, Mandy discusses how her family deals with the discrimination against others and how she and her husband are raising children who are making a difference.
  • The Difference is Me - Living as the Rainbow Generation — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle, guest posting at Natural Parents Network, is used to being the odd-one-out, but walking an alternative path with children means digging deeper, answering lots of questions and opening to more love.
  • My daughter will only know same-sex marriage as normal — Doña at Nurtured Mama realizes that the recent Supreme Court rulings on same-sex marriage will change the way she talks to her daughter about her own past.
  • Montessori-Inspired Respect for Diversity — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells about her multicultural family and shares Montessori-inspired ideas for encouraging respect for diversity.
  • EveryDay Diversity — Ana at Panda & Ananaso makes diversity a part of everyday living, focusing on raising of compassionate and respectful child.
  • Diversity as Part of Life — Even though Laura at Authentic Parenting thought she had diversity covered, she found out that some things are hard to control.
  • Inequity and Privilege — Jona is unpacking questions raised by a summit addressing inequity in breastfeeding support at Life, Intertwined.
  • 3 Ways to Teach Young Children About Diversity — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama recognizes her family's place of privilege and shares how she is teaching her little ones about diversity in their suburban community.
  • Teaching diversity: tales from public school — A former public high school teacher and current public school parent, Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama values living in a diverse community.
  • 30 Ideas to Encourage Learning about Diversity While Traveling — Traveling with kids can bring any subject alive. Dionna at Code Name: Mama has come up with a variety of ways you can incorporate diversity education into your family travels (regardless of whether you homeschool). From couch surfing to transformative reading, celebrate diversity on your next trip!
  • Diversity, huh? — Jorje of Momma Jorje doesn't do anything BIG to teach about diversity; it's more about the little things.
  • Chosen and Loved — From Laura at Pug in the Kitchen: Color doesn't matter. Ethnicity doesn't matter. Love matters.
  • The One With The Bright Skin — Stefanie at Very Very Fine tries to recover from a graceless response to her son's apparent prejudice.



8 comments:

  1. I remember when I was in middle school, people said nasty things about one of my best friends. Some of the things they talked about were qualities that I loved about him. I wish I'd been taught how to reply to bullying - maybe it would have helped one of those kids realize how hurtful they were. Definitely something to keep in mind as my own children grow.
    ~Dionna @ CodeNameMama.com

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  2. That's absolutely what I hope for my kids as well! I hope we can raise our children to be accepting of differences in themselves and others. Thank you for sharing.

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  3. exactly this is one of the reasons why I'm happy that we unschool.
    Putting kids in an environment where everyone is supposed to be the same is basically pushing kids to compare: we're the same age and we come from the same village, but you are taller/fatter/smarter/...

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  4. Social conformity can be such a pressure point for kids! Thank you for bringing up the bullying factor, this is so accurate. The pressure to conform to not be bullied can be so intense.

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  5. Here, here! Well said that good mother :D

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  6. Kudos to you for raising such confident children. That is my goal for my daughter - to raise her to be confident in her self. Something, sadly, I can't say I have had the luxury of experiencing.

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  7. Beautiful! I love that you are providing your kiddos with a respectful environment to learn about culture. Keep up the good work! A safe environment in which to learn about diversity is one of the best gifts you could ever give your kiddos.

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