The gift of light

We are now in the early days of the busiest time of the year, or what feels like it.  I don't know about you but I suspect that I am busier in the summer months but because it is warmer and the daylight is around for much longer you don't feel busy in the quite the same way.  This time of year is not supposed to be a time for being busy, it is a time for slowing down, for quiet time and going gently, perhaps that is why we can feel frazzled when we try and do so much, it is difficult to say no when there are so many wonderful things going on around us.

The past two years we have avoided all this hustle and bustle by going away, last year for the whole of December and the year before the week leading up to Christmas.  Both these trips were to places where we were hidden from the crazy, busy of this season.  We are not going away this year so I have been thinking about ways of doing the same whilst being at home, while I ponder how this will work I do not want to be paralysed by the thoughts that we need to hide a home to find the peace and quiet.  It is a difficult balance.

I spend a lot of my life planning, making sure that each week is a balance of time at home and time out and about, a balance of quiet and busy, all the time I am holding that space making sure it works for us.  I have learnt the hard way how important it is to include the quiet time, the peace, the time for breathing out.  As I head into this time, with a month of many illnesses behind me, my planning has become drawn towards the quiet, being at home more, interspersed with time with friends or going to events - but as always only one thing a day.

If I am going to celebrate or observe an event or festival in some way I need to feel a connection to it.  Over my years as a parent I have searched for a way to observe the weeks in December that were more than a build up to a day of eating large amounts of food and giving and receiving gifts.  I found what I was looking for a few years ago and have continued to use this, changing it slightly each year to reflect the changes in the children.  We use this time to think about our connection to the world around us, focusing on one aspect each week.  The first week we consider the mineral kingdom, our connection to the Earth the physical foundation of a life, the ground we stand on.  The second week we consider the plant kingdom celebrating the bounty and nourishment we receive, the growers who make this possible for us, the rain and sun that creates a balance of growth and decay,  the life of this kingdom unlike the still, solid mineral world.  The third week we consider the animal kingdom, we remind ourselves of our relationship with animals, how we share our capacity of movement with them, consider their traits and how we might be like particular animals.  The final week we consider Humans, how all the other three kingdoms contribute to our existence, our place in the universe, how we are with other people, how we can support each other and look after each other.  We explore these themes, ideas and thoughts through stories, poems, songs and now that the children are older we have been talking about what they mean to us.  It is not a time to be critical, it is a time of thinking,

The four weeks of December is also a time of moving through the darkness to the return of the light, the last few weeks of the days shortening.  It can be hard time especially if you live somewhere like me where the sun is rarely seen, with heavy grey clouds filling the sky day after day.  Staying positive is hard.  Somehow the chinks of positivity can be found, by being grateful, for thinking about all the wonderful things we have done this year,  spending time with those we love, what we could do in the future, the possibilities, maybe sowing the seeds of a new beginning.

The gift of light 

I thankfully hold

And pass to my neighbour

Its shining gold

That everyone may

Feel its glow,

Receiving and giving

May love and grow

How do you celebrate and stay positive at this time or year?

On being grateful

I have had a spring in my step this week, when your week starts with a gathering of your favourite people and my wedding anniversary how could I not?

I feel so blessed to have spent nineteen years married to the most wonderful man.  I won't pretend that it has always been easy, but life isn't all the time is it.  It has its ups and downs but they are so much easier to navigate when we are surrounded by those that we love.  We have stayed friends, a piece of advice given to me by my father, on my wedding day, which I didn't appreciate the importance of until those difficult times.

We are slowly finding our groove again as the meet ups we go to that only happen in term time start up once more.  Finding myself in a room full of excited people all talking at once was, for once, really nourishing.  I struggle to hear and follow a conversation in that kind of environment these days, my age showing, but it didn't matter as I just absorbed all the loveliness of the people in the room and their happiness at being together again.

The past few months have been unsettling at times, lots of changes many of them completely unexpected and totally out of our control.   When you get told something is going to change it can be so disappointing, but I know that life has to move on, and shift, as needs change.  But when you are only told half the story which leaves you feeling excluded and then blaming the wrong person it hurts.  Why?  Why would anyone do that?  The time I took to pause and breathe in to work out where to go next was long, but necessary, we have moved on and worked out where we fit in.

I live in a beautiful place, a peaceful country - well mostly I am trying hard not to worry about what is going on within my county politically.  Sometime it feels like that really scary bit of a film that you really want to watch, but hiding behind the sofa is where you really want to be.  Somehow I don't think hiding behind the sofa will resolve the problem.  We have put our trust in these people and they are behaving like a group of toddlers who all want to play with the same toy. So to the beauty, we have been enjoying a morning walk to get our day started, we had been doing this for some months before the summer and then inexplicably in the warmest times we stopped. I am studiously ignoring the fact that the temperatures outside have dropped to the point that wearing sandals makes my toes feel like they are about to drop off, instead we don our hats, coats and shoes and drink up some of the wonderful surroundings that we are blessed to call home.

I made a new friend last week, a lovely lady that has come into my life with perfect timing.  A dear friend moved away to Ireland last month and another is going off travelling soon for a year on a journey to find a new place to lay their heads and call home, both of these lovely people have daughters so life has changed for Alice too.  The timing is perfect, had she come into my life six months ago I know I wouldn't be feeling the same, our lives were too busy and full to let anyone else in.  I know that I would have missed out on an opportunity to connect with a like minded soul who has come into our lives at the right time for us, when we were wondering how to fill the big aching, gaping hole left by friends going off for exciting adventures.  We are feeling very blessed and the future feels different now.

Alice and I are going off for a micro adventure of our own next week.  Three days away, just me and her.  We are leaving Cameron at home.  It feels like a big step, but the right one for everyone.  He will be on his own during two of those days, Dad will be out at work coming home for the evenings.  We have a lovely neighbour, retired, who is in all the time, he is on call if Cameron needs someone.  He has been our neighbour since before we became parents, the children love spending time with him.  I know that Cameron is in safe hands with him next door.  So a new door in our lives is opening, who knows what is through that door?  More adventures I hope.

I will be offline whilst I am away so I look forward to catching up with you all when I return and to fill you in with what we have been up to.

Bye for now.

Gratitudes

Joining in with Taryn for her heartfelt Sunday tradition.

A time to reflect, to slow down, to be grateful.

This week I have been grateful for...

...baking time with my youngest.

...an impromptu felting workshop provided at a friends house which was great fun.

...spending time outside in the sunshine in the few hours it has shone this week.

...being able to find wonderful free patterns on Ravelry it is such a wonderful community.

...finding the time to sew and nearly finishing a curtain for one of bedrooms.

...a wonderful day out organised by a home ed family for a group of families we all had fun despite the cold and rain.

...being able to get out and do things in the garden despite the cold and snow this week, we have some days of warmth too, it is a slow start to spring this year but I will come soon.

...still feeling positive despite a day of unfortunate incidents!

Gratitudes

Joining in with Taryn for her heartfelt Sunday tradition.

A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.

This week I am grateful for...

...no snow, much as I love the stuff it does make our home edding life much more isolating if we cannot get out and about to visit friends.

...time to finish reading this, it is the first book I have really enjoyed reading for ages.

...spending time outside everyday this week, despite the cold it had been dry and provided you wrap up warm it has felt great to spend some time outside.

...sitting round a tables with home edding mummies, chatting and crafting, whilst all the children played happily together.

...sharing food with friends, I really enjoy cooking and it has been great to have a table full of great company to share it with, twice this week.

...finally working out what has been causing the friction between my children, something so simple and obvious that was very easy to resolve, calm has been restored.

...a cup of chamomile tea first thing in the morning and stories in bed with my children.

...our seasoned wood supply which my husband is now stocking up for next winter.

...decluttering and being able to pass on unused, unwanted or outgrown items to friends who will make use of them.

Gratitude

Joining in with Taryn for her heartfelt Sunday tradition.

A time to slow down, to reflect and to be grateful.

This week I have been grateful for...

...the warmth of our fire on the cold frosty days we have had this week,

...the wonderful things my husband has made with wood this week,

...time to spend on continuing to make Christmas presents,

...the care with which my husband looks after our car which made a drive home on an icy night much easier,

...sleep returning to me this week,

...the loan of an apple press to make some delicious apple juice,

...spending time with my extended family a far too rare occurrence,

Gratitudes

I am joining in with Taryn for her heartfelt Sunday tradition.

A time to slow down, to reflect and be grateful.

This week I have been grateful for...

...the generosity of family and friends who bought presents for my eldest.

...the delight on my eldest's face when opening his lovely presents.

...a friend for organising a great day out.

...the time and company of a wonderful lady who was so gentle and responsive to my eldest's needs.

...the nourishing company of friends.

...time to spend planning and tending to my garden.

...my good health returning.

...listening to some lovely music that I had not heard for ages.

...bringing more rhythm into our lives and finding more time to do things.

Apples

Yesterday we spent a lovely day doing all things apple.

Our Wednesday friends, a family that we meet up with every Wednesday to do stuff with, arranged for us all to go to the house of a local lady who is something of an apple expert.  We would both like to plant apple tress in our gardens so we were going to use the opportunity to work out which variety of tree(s) would be suitable to plant.

We started off tasting apples, my youngest thought this was great she loves all fruit but most especially apples.  It is now quite late in the apple season so we not able try any early fruiting varieties and some of those we did try we were told did not taste quite as good as they would have done earlier in the season.  It was still interesting to experience the huge variety of taste and texture between the apples we did try.

Apple varieties have such wonderful names, many of them have been raised by gardeners of wealthy landowners and the variety named after them.  Whilst tasting we particularly like Laxton's Fortune, Spartan and the wonderfully named Cockpit Improved.  We talked about where each variety had come from and how old they were, how the names can reflect the shape for example the Pearmain varieties have a pear like shape or the Russets which describe the skin, usually slightly rougher and with greeny- brown or yellowy-brown colouration.

We were then taken to her orchard a collection of about 200 trees.  Some of the trees were growing as standards, a traditional tree shape, and some as cordons a single stem at a 45° angle.  She also showed us the wonderfully named family trees where there were three varieties of apple growing on one tree ideal for those with a smaller garden.  Apples are not in the main self fertile, they need other apple trees around for pollination and therefore fruiting, some are even sterile and will not fruit at all without other apple trees growing nearby.

The lady herself made the day so special.  She was knowledgeable, interesting, engaging and wonderful with children.  She did not force them to listen or make demands of them at all.  She sensed that my eldest was not comfortable around those he does not know and quietly asked me what he was interested in.  Later I heard her engaging him in conversation about that very topic.  She not only gave us her knowledge and her time and also her apples.  There was a tree still bearing fruit in the orchard another one with a wonderful name, Catshead, we left laden with fruit.  She also owns a juicer which she generously told us we could borrow if we would like to juice these apples.  We leant how to make cider and vinegar from her so some of those apples may end up in demijohns!

Gratitudes

I am joining in with Taryn for her heartfelt Sunday tradition.

A time to slow down, to reflect, be grateful.

This week I have been grateful for...

...time to spend talking to a dear friend.

...finally be able to speak to my parents on the phone as it has been connected in their new house.

...heartwarming soup on a cold autumn day, made even better by the fact that the vegetables were from our garden.

...the understanding and patience of my lovely children when they were unable to visit their friends as I was not well enough.

...the healing power of sleep.

...the return of my husband safe and sound after a trip working away.

...having the space to grow our own vegetables and the time to tend to them.

Gratitudes

I am joining in with Taryn for her heartfelt Sunday tradition.

A time to slow down., to reflect, to be grateful.

This week I have been grateful for......

...the kindness of strangers helping me when laden with shopping and trying to hold children's hands!

...a morning cup of tea in bed.

...my children smiling at me each morning when they wake, a beautiful start to the day.

...my friends who welcome me into their homes and feed me with wonderful food for lunch.

...my comfortable bed after a long day on my feet on Saturday.

...my eldest taking his sister's hand when they had to leave me again, and go off with their dad, he sensed she needed comfort.

...the heartfelt thanks after cooking for forty five people for the weekend.

...being able to enjoy a gorgeous sunrise.

Gratitudes

I am joining with Taryn for the first time for her Sunday heartfelt tradition.

A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.

This week I've felt grateful for....

...a tea cooked for me on my birthday.

...feeling recharged after our recent holiday.

...catching up with friends after time away

...the produce from our garden which has fed the family this week.

...the fine weather this weekend which has enabled us to tidy the garden ready for the winter.

...the beautiful flowers from this lovely mama for my birthday.

...the seasoned wood my husband has been chopping and stacking all year which is now keeping us warm each evening.

...the lovely books I received for my birthday which I am looking forward to reading.