Resting and Reflecting

I have been a little absent from here in the past few months, my sporadic posting in some part due to my busyness.  My life has been much quieter and slower over the past couple of weeks.  I read blogs and write posts in the evening, it is the time of day that is mine. When the evening arrives at the end of each day I have been reading blogs but the words have not been forming together in ways that I needed them to to bring a post together.  My evenings have been full of knitting, of watching, of pausing, of rest.  My head has been so full during my busy time now that that life has slowed the capacity to arrange words has taken a while to return. 

The summer is a time of energy, the world around us is at is peak, nature is bursting with life where I live. We have not had the drought that other parts of my country is experiencing, it is green and lush where I live, the occasional rain that has fallen nourishing the earth and all that grows.  It is a time of being busy, of making the most of the warm temperatures, of being outside soaking up the valuable vitamin D that the sun provides us with, before the temperatures turn cooler and we hibernate inside around our fires or whatever provides us with warmth during the colder months.  As an introvert who loves quiet I find summer a difficult time of year.

The weather has been really warm, it is lovely to not have to wrap myself up in endless layers each time I leave the house.  We have not had such a reliably warm summer for a few years here.  There is so much to love about the summer but it is not a time of year that I can completely embrace just yet.  It is not that I feel like a fish out of water it is more akin to that feeling when you are wearing an item of clothing which doesn't quite fit and despite your best efforts you cannot seem to make the adjustments so that it is a completely comfortable.  All that said we have had some wonderful adventures.  

Way back in July we went away camping during a very hot period, a large tree next to our tent bought some welcome shade and coolness to our living quarters.  We are so lucky to have such beautiful countryside on our doorstep, we travelled a couple of hours from home along winding slow roads to reach this wonderful spot.  We walked miles.  In an effort to reduce our driving whilst away we took our bikes with us and used them to reach the areas we wanted to walk in, a good move as there were few parking spots which were always full as we cycled, somewhat smugly, passed them.  We found places to lock our bikes up before heading into the hills or round lakes for long walks, interspersed with swims to cool ourselves down in the heat.  It was good to spend this time just the four of us, chatting and enjoying each others company.  As the children get older these times feel so much more precious, moments to treasure as we all spend more and more time doing our own things.

We were home for one day from that adventure before heading out to the next one, this time it was to drop Cameron for his D of E Expedition whilst Alice and I were supervising remotely.  I usually assess D of E expeditions but am, quite rightly, not allowed to do this when my own child is in the group.  I swopped roles and supervised his group, which involved us being in the area should we be needed if a problem arose.  We camped too although it was cooler and wetter for these four days.  It was a pottering time, with shorter walks which were no less interesting.  It was lovely to spend so much time with Alice, we spent lots of time in our tent chatting, playing games and reading many words from the chapter book I am reading to her at the moment.  We got ourselves into a lovely rhythm.

The next adventure, a couple of weeks later, was for Alice and Cameron. They headed out for an  international scout camp which was held a few miles down the road from us.  The,y along with 4,000 other Scouts and Explorers, enjoyed a week of activities both on and off site from the venue they were using.  I was hoping to have a relaxing week at home mostly by myself as my husband was also away for three days that week too.  Sadly one of the leaders did not leave me with much confidence in her ability to care for my children and those in the rest of the group, so it was not relaxing experience I had hoped for.  They enjoyed themselves in the main, Cameron felt that he was treated like a ten year old and as he is nearly eighteen this was somewhat waring for him.  The lack of trust and respect by the adults of the young people in their care has been reported back to those who can implement further training.  

We have enjoyed time with both sets of grandparents, time, which now that Cameron is at college, is restricted to college holiday time so it added to an already busy summer.  Time with them has always been arranged throughout the year, college holidays being new to us we need to get better at using this time more wisely so we don't end up filling the days up completely.  I have lost my ability to see the bigger picture too, a skill I had honed very well before lockdowns came to our shores.  I have already blocked out a few weekends in the coming months to ensure that we do not get ourselves too busy in the coming months which are already looking rather full.  They will be our pausing time, quiet time at home pottering and resting which is so important to us.

Whilst my parents were staying with us Cameron got his results from his course and exams.  He was delighted with them, his hard work over the year paid off, he passed them all including a Distinction in his Art Diploma (Film and Photography) which was higher than he had been predicted.  He had been working at upper merit all year and did not think he would gain this level of mark, we are so proud of him.  This means that he has easily gained a place on the next level Art Diploma which he starts next week, he is both nervous and excited.  I was really nervous when he went into college to get his results, it has felt like I have been examined as well as him, my support of his education over twelve years he was home educated under the microscope.  He has just applied for a part time job, having given up his village paper round of four years back in April so that he could focus on his final course project and his exams.  I hope he can find something to give him a small income whilst he is at college.  It was strange supporting him through the application process, it is years since I have written a CV or applied for a job.  Although I do have two very part time jobs, both of which I have started in the last couple of years,  I did not need to apply for either of them.

Over the past week I have felt things shifting, as the nights draw in, the temperatures steadily dropping especially at the beginning and end of the day we are heading slowly towards the start of Autumn, my favourite season.  After the busyness of the summer I am ready to head into a period of transition to hibernation over the Winter.  I wanted to have a summer which was full of wonderful adventures after what has felt like a long period of not being able to do that, I have had that this summer but I don't think I would do quite so much again.  It has felt a little too busy for me with not quite enough pausing in between for rest before the next thing.  This past week has seen that shift too of having a long enough pause that has enabled me to feel rested and ready for the next thing which is another four days of camping from Saturday.  A D of E Expedition again, this time I am assessing.  When we return Cameron will have started his new course and it will be time to start planning a rhythm for Alice as all her groups start up again.  I feel ready for that now.