Finding hope and peace

I am standing on a hill, the wind is blowing hard and right through me.  They call it a lazy wind in these parts.   I can feel its power as it buffets against me.  There is a stand of trees surrounding a small mound on top of this hill.  It is a place I have been to many times recently, it is a few miles from my house.  I had no idea it was here until I heard about it on a podcast, one of my favourites, which features walks in my local area.  Each time I have been here before there has been no view, nothing to be seen but fog, cloud or mist.  

I am not high up on this hill, yet I can see for miles in every single direction I look, I have a 360 view.  It has been lost to the mists of times now, but it is thought that this was a meeting point of several ancient roads across the fell.  This makes sense to me as the trees on this hill are visible for miles around, each time we have been for a walk in the area we have looked for the them in the distance.  In the days before maps a tree, or stand of trees would have made a good visible point to aim for.

I am blown away by the view as well as the wind.  It has been in my imagination until now, images put together from the places I could see these trees from.  There is a part of me that liked that not being able to see, of being able to imagine what was beyond the mist and fog.

Two years ago the future became a very uncertain place, the effects of this over the past two years have been slow and cumulative, tilting us off balance.  Just when it felt like maybe, just maybe, we might finally be able to see the light glimmering like a tiny dot at the end of the tunnel, we now find ourselves in a new one.  One that is every bit as confusing as the last one we found ourselves in.  

We are now navigating a new world disorder.

The news is hard to read and watch at times like this.  We want to be informed, which is difficult in itself.   Since this day when I lost a colleague to tragedy, a fellow teenager, I have a distrust of the media.  I read, but I don't always believe.  

The first casualty of war is always the truth.

The volume of information can get overwhelming, it is important to take time out.  To turn to the things that nourish us and not to feel guilty for doing that.  It is ok to get on with your life, your worries and hard things are important too.  We have enough to worry about right now, without beating ourselves up that our lives are not hard enough.  

We can still be compassionate, thoughtful and caring to others, as we live in the safety of our own lives.

It is difficult to unsee and hear things.  As I stand here on this hill, buffeted by the wind, drinking in the view, there is a part of me that would like to be wrapped up in that fog, taking from me the images I have viewed over the past weeks.  Images that are difficult and hard to comprehend, that are now in my mind, that I do not want to continue to see, as my brain makes sense of the world we all live in.

We have to hope that all will be well.  That we can find the beauty in the world again.  The emergence of Spring feels like it will be extra special this year, the hope it brings with it supporting us through this time.  

Take care of you and yours.

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Apologies for the poor photo in this post.  I assumed that, having seen from a distance, the stand of trees I mention so many times on recent walks, I would have lots of photos I could choose from.  I had two, this one and one other which was even worse.  This is five miles from the trees, which looks like one big tree from this distance, I have marked it with a wee arrow.