Authenticity

Welcome to the January 2013 Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival: Authenticity

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival hosted by Authentic Parenting and Living Peacefully with Children. This month our participants have written about authenticity through character, emotions, and establishing authentic communication with their children. We hope you enjoy this month's posts and consider joining us next month when we share about Honesty.

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Sometimes the words won't flow, they get stuck, trapped by an invisible gate or are jumbled up like a pile of clothes waiting to be washed.

Sometimes the words are not there.  There is nothing to say.  I listen intently but I have no reply.

Sometimes the words come fast.  So fast they are tripping over each other.  I stop listening and out they pour out one after the other.

As a child, I have been told by my mother, I spoke little in my first school until about the age of ten.  I have no memory of this, my memories of this school are good ones, I enjoyed my time there, I was allowed my silence, my quiet.  Not so at my next school, I was not happy to be there with teachers who spent an hour a week with you, who needed you to speak, to hear your words to check your progress.

I joined the workforce and loved my first job.  I was valued, respected and trusted.  I moved to another and hated it.  I vowed I would never stay in a job which I did not enjoy, where I was not valued, respected and trusted.

Now I am doing the most difficult, unpaid, job of my life as a mother.  Never before have I been so bombarded with information and advice even when it has not been asked for.  It has been hard to stop the flood, to dissect the words to find the ones that I want, to be a parent who is respected and trusted by my children and for my children to learn these important values.

I know I can listen, but am I always present? Can I wait to hear what my child needs and wants to tell me, it's easy to stray, to have your mind elsewhere planning and thinking.

I try to be mindful with my words, to speak as I would be spoken to, but sometimes those words flow out fast, without thought, they hurt and I apologise for I am wrong.

I have to trust my children, to allow them to be themselves, so they can walk their own path not mine, they can lead not follow.

I want the best for my children but I have to let them develop and learn at their pace, if I dictate the pace I am measuring them up to my standards.

I am trying to foster respect and trust through love and kindness, not control.

This is me.

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Visit Living Peacefully with Children and Authentic Parenting to find out how you can participate in next month's Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival!
 
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 25 with all the carnival links.)

• Remaining True To Yourself While Parenting - Authentic Parenting compares Western Child centered parenting with African parenting and discovers some ways to maintain your authenticity.
• Honoring My Forgiving Heart — Destany at They Are All of Me writes about how honoring her forgiving nature allows her to break down emotional barriers and allow her to more fully connect with her children.
• Sincere and Credible — Mari from Honey on the Bum uses the definition of authenticity to relate what it means to her and her parenting style
• Being Authentic — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog ponders how to achieve authenticity when there are cultural, community and family expectations to take into account...
• Authenticity — Sustainable Mum shares how her values have been shaped through life and are now the basis of how she parents her own children.
• Authenticity through Consensual Living — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children challenges parents to push past socially learned reactions in order to foster authentic interactions with their children.
• Authenticity Through Emotions — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her belief that being a truly authentic parent means allowing and supporting both her daughter’s emotions and her expression of them but also her (Jennifer's) own emotions.
• Authentic Grief — Erica at ChildOrganics talks about not shielding our children from the topic of death and dying. She shares how being open and honest on the topic can help our children grow to be healthy well-adjusted adults.
• Authentic Teaching, Authentic Learners — At Surviving Mexico, Survivor shares how learning how to be an authentic teacher was something she discovered rather than learned.