Drifting with Purpose

29 December 2022





The Winter Solstice slipped by this year without me turning up in this space.  I have moved into hibernation mode slowing down as the earth has slowed around me.  The busyness that Christmas can bring into our lives feels like it pulls me in the opposite direction of the one that I want to be taking.

We spent the solstice as we usually do, with a walk up a local hill to watch the sun setting.  After a week of beautiful sunsets the day itself was grey and gloomy the only sign that the sun had set was the gloom getting darker.  It was still as magical, sitting at the top of the hill looking down at the lake, the lights of the houses twinkling in the gloom.  It is where I wanted to be a that time, an important place, one where we have watched the sun set for all, bar one, of the last ten solstices.

We made a list the following day of all those jobs that need doing but there is never quite the time for, it is our holiday list to be worked slowly through until the time when work and college are calling again and life goes back to that.  We have cleared out several spaces in the house, getting rid of things that we no longer need.  It is a good time of year to remove things from our lives, from our homes or from our minds, letting go of thoughts that are unhelpful, that influence us in ways that leave us sad and unhappy.  A clearer mind is so calming, we are more productive, we sleep better and we can manage our day to day life more efficiently.  I love this act of reducing, when you know that things are coming into the house, a house which is small and fairly full, there has to be some space made to allow those things in.  I find a cluttered space overwhelming, it is a constant process to keep our house less cluttered.

I also find this time of year overwhelming and have worked hard, over the years, to reduce the overwhelm.  I have said no to so many offers of things to do this December, to ensure that we had more breathing space, and this year has been almost perfect.  I am not sure what would have made it more perfect other than going to a country where Christmas is really low key.  I have a bit of a love hate relationship with Christmas.  We spent the day itself out on a long walk, it was not the best conditions but we rather like our long walks on Christmas Day as it gives us a chance to park and walk in places that we would not normally visit.  We live in a very touristy area and there are some beautiful places which can be teeming with people in the warmer months but on a cold wet Christmas Day are pretty much empty.  We had the car park to ourselves.  Breakfast was large and hearty, so we only took snacks with us to eat whilst out, tea was prepped in the slow cooker alongside breakfast so we could eat when we got home.  We had filled the wood burning stove too so we came home to a toasty warm house with wonderful smells of tea filling the nose as we opened the door.  

Present giving was low key, a couple each before breakfast followed by a few more when we were home and fed.  Husband and I tend to give gifts to each other through out the year so we don't give each other presents at this time of year, we give the children something they want, need, to wear and to read at this time of year.  We had a small bag of gifts from my parents.  We had also been sent some presents from friends we have not seen for a few years as COVID has stopped us meeting up.  We were rather surprised to be sent these, we randomly get presents from these friends and as much as we appreciate the thought they are rarely anything we want, only Alice did well out of those, the rest have boosted the fundraising stock and the present cupboard.

Boxing Day saw us packing up and heading south to visit my mother in law, we joined the roads with thousands of others, we naively thought it would be a good day to travel, that the roads would be quiet.  I guess the rail strikes have effected folks travel plans and everyone took to the roads.  A four hour journey turned to six and half as we met accident after accident.  We only had one full day together before we returned home with an equally long journey extended by yet more accidents.  In the twenty odd years we have been driving south to see parents I don't think I have ever seen so many cars on the roads, I know I don't go far on the roads these days but they did seem a lot busier than normal. 

We have returned to work on the list, there are now three remaining, all the large ones, they always get left till last don't they.  I have some work to catch up on, those jobs that there is never time to do normally so a similar list to our round the house jobs.  It is good to start a new season and a new year feeling like you have cleared up the clutter from the previous one, it gives me the space and time to do some thinking and planning.  I love the slowness of the days at this time between Christmas and New Year, they are drifting with purpose.

We are slowly heading towards New Year my favourite time at this time of year.  We are hosting friends this year, an open house with food and drinks.  I am not sure we will make it to midnight, the last few years we have toasted the New Year in earlier and headed to bed, it is the being with friends that matters more to us than doing things at the 'right' time.  I am loving these slow days with all my family at home, full of moments to treasure.  I hope your days are full of those moments too.

28 comments:

  1. Happy New Year to you and the family. I am enjoying these days too, although mine are not quite as productive as they should be...I need to declutter...a lot...
    Best wishes
    Ellie

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    1. Thank you Ellie. Sometimes those days that don't feel like they are productive are, just in ways that we cannot see. It is important to have those in between the days that we have something to show for what we have been doing.

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  2. So much in your post I have had two sittings! I like to hibernate a bit at this time of year - slow down and reflect - not easy with three grandchildren and a family full of problems at the moment. More clearing to be done again this year - I cannot believe how fast last year went - many of my plans last January are still untouched now, but I refuse to stress over them. Wishing you a happy and healthy 2023.

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    1. I am so glad to hear that you enjoyed this post. Hibernating is a great thing to do at this time of year, I hope you can find a little space to pause if not hibernate during the winter.

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  3. I like the peacefulness too rather than the fuss and hype. I am also feeling overwhelmed by stuff at the moment not because we bought lots at Chriistmas becuase we didn't. It is fabric pieces and patterns to do with my work, working in a riny sewing room I find it soon gets full and I really find it hard to part with fabric offcuts as I don't like waste of any kind. This is problematic and currently taking up too much headspace too! I will have to go and think of a solution today. The Christmas walk sounds fab, we did a Christmas picnic out near Lady Bower a few years ago to break tradition that was great. Enjoy the rest of the break.

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    1. Walking at this time of year always feels different to at those taken at other times. Lady Bower is a lovely area for walking. I hear you on that balance to not throw things away but then having the room to store them all until we find a use for them. I hope you can find a way to store your fabric offcuts that works for you.

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  4. I feel it's a good time of year to declutter too, start the year off with a clean slate as it were. Wishing you and your family a very happy new year.

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    1. Starting the year with a clean slate is great. I hope you and yours have a happy new year too.

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  5. Just lovely hearing of your Christmas, as always a thoughtful, gentle post. All the very best to you all for 2023.xxx

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    1. Thank you Snowbird, all the best to you and yours for 2023 too xx

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  6. I love that knitted star! Wishing you all the best for the new year :)

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    1. Thank you, I knitted it last Christmas. I had grand plans to make lots of them to use up some wool but it was so fiddly and time consuming that I only made the one. I do love it though.

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  7. Happy New Year!
    I also have a love/hate relationship with the December holidays but I have to say this year it was definitely love that dominated. Everything seemed smaller and more manageable for some reason. The changes Covid has made in the way we celebrate has been a good thing for us quiet types. I don't miss all the hoopla one bit.

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    1. I love that expression to describe Christmas madness, hoopla, not heard of that one but it is perfect. I hear you on it being more manageable this year, I agree that Covid has played a part in that and I for one am glad of that change. I had not thought of the Covid effect but you are so right.

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  8. Your Christmas Day sounds perfect. Long walks in quiet areas are always the best. That journey on boxing days sounded awful. I appreciate my small island. Wishing you a very happy new year. B x

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    1. The Boxing Day journey was awful, it seemed to go on for ever. I was glad to get home to the peace and quiet!

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  9. Drifting is so important for our wellbeing, I think. Aimless ambling through the days. This time of year is perfect for it. Like you, we have things to sort through and address before we move into the new year, although I like to think of NY as a state of mind, rather than a big clock striking 12 and clatter of fireworks. However you mark it, I hope you have a good one.

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    1. I love that you think of new year as a state of mind, thank you, you have put into words so beautifully what I was trying to say in my post. That is exactly how I feel about and why I love to clear everything out of the way to make room for a clearer state of mind for the new year.

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  10. Drifting or just...being...is so important and yet it requires a shocking amount of intentionality to achieve in our modern world. Reading this post was like a breath of fresh air!
    "It is a good time of year to remove things from our lives, from our homes or from our minds, letting go of thoughts that are unhelpful, that influence us in ways that leave us sad and unhappy." Yes to all of this. I am a huge fan of decluttering and organizing and assessing if an item or responsibility or relationship brings me joy or serves a purpose. When the answer in No, I need to sit and reflect on possible changes.

    I'm so glad you had a wonderful, relaxing Christmas. There are so many emotions this time of year and, often based on experiences earlier in our lives, it's not always a fully positive time. I'm so glad you share about the love/hate relationship because I think it can be hard for people to feel permission to say: This is a hard time of year for me. Or I feel a lot of mixed emotions in this season.

    Happy New Year, my internet friend <3

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    1. Thank you so much for your lovely and heartfelt comment Elisabeth. You are so right that drifting, or just being as you so eloquently put it, requires a shocking amount of intentionality. I know this is something that bothers me alot.

      You are so right that it can be hard to feel permission to say that you find Christmas a difficult time of year, it doesn't feel right at all. As someone who has always felt the need to speak with honesty and from the heart, but being aware of the impact of those words, I find it really difficult to speak my truth at this time of year. I found it easier this year and hopes it continues to be so in years to come.

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  11. I always feel the urge to clean and declutter at this time as well, to start the new year fresh, full of dreams and plans. The Christmas season is always full and overwhelming and it's great that you recognized this and said no to some things. I need to do that myself. Happy New Year!

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    1. It took me a long time to realise that overwhelm was part of why I found this time of years so hard, it came to a head when the children were little. Becoming a parent changes Christmas completely. I had a long period between leaving home and becoming a parent so it felt like Christmas had become this more manageable thing. I am slowly feeling my way into feeling like a more enjoyable time of year but that is mixed up with knowing that that means doing something very different to the norm which is not always an easy change to make.

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  12. Wishing you health, peace and plenty in the coming year, my friend! I very much enjoyed your post and find myself in much the same place, wanting to hunker down, slow down, and take things one at a time. For me it seems doubtful I will achieve those things as well as I would like, but somehow just the awareness of the intent isbhelpful.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. I totally think that the awareness of intent of wanting to do something is huge, without that most things will probably not happen, we can make them happen if we have the intent. I hope you can find a slower pace a little.

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  13. Lovely to hear about your quiet solstice and Christmas. I cancelled Christmas this year. I spent it in the hammock (southern Hemisphere Christmas here) reading library books:)

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  14. Your words resonate so much with me, especially this festive season. No matter how hard I try, I can never seem to celebrate Christmas the way I wish to. Instead, I still find myself conforming to the expectations of others to a certain extent.
    Sending warm wishes and blessings to you and your family for the coming year. Xx

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  15. I try to keep the holidays low key but then I get frazzled anyways. I think it's because I'm highly sensitive. Our son, daughter in law and grandson were here for six days!! I loved every moment but I'm excited to be back to my quiet existence.

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