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26 October 2022

Busy (Gently) Doing



It would seem that I haven't written one of these posts recently, not since early August, that feels like a lifetime away now.  The evenings are darkening here as we head to the halfway point between the Autumn Equinox and the Winter Solstice.  I am ready for this, the dark evenings always make me want to be still and restful, sitting on the sofa in front of the wood burner enjoying the warmth and cosiness that that brings.  

I didn't managed much of the rest and stillness on the sofa last week, I had four meetings on three evenings which was not great planning but as they were all meetings that I had to attend and others were organising I had little choice.  Two were for work which involved some pre-planning for me, the others I just had to turn up.  The week was completed by an assessment over a weekend, I thought I was going to be out for the whole weekend including an overnight, so when I discovered late in the week that it was going to one day, and not a particularly long day, Sunday at home felt like a much welcomed bonus.

Weekends have been really full with courses, weekends away, canoeing with Explorers and Alice on two Scout camps on back to back weekends.  We have something on every weekend up to Christmas, lots and lots of fundraising, two family birthdays and friends staying, all lovely things to be looking forward to.  I used to find it hard to manage with full weekends one after the other but our weeks are much slower now, so busy weekends feel possible.  A full week followed by a busy weekend can be too much week in week out.

I spent a lovely day out by myself after dropping Alice and a fellow Scout at a Jamboree training camp.  It came at the end of a full and difficult week.  It was a wonderful recharge and gave me the space to be able to reframe things that I have been trying to make sense of.  It was lovely to be able to move through the day at my pace without anyone else needing me to move on before I was ready.  It is a very long time since I have been able to do this.  I know that I am slowly moving into a very different passage of motherhood, my children are becoming steadily more independent and it is gives me more and more time to do things for myself.  It is strange, yet liberating.  I sometimes feel like a toddler as I take these tentative steps, wistfully looking back to those times when my children were by my side, yet also loving this new way of being.

Alice and I are still feeling into a rhythm which has not quite revealed itself yet.  It has needed to be a slow process for her to absorb changes that have hard for her.  She is loving her music lessons, her French lesson that she shares with Cameron, but is missing connections with a group of friends.  We had hoped that we could have a pause from changes for a year or two but another friend going to school this year has hit her hard, particularly as they offered no support to her as she made this transition, despite us checking in with them that school was going well for them.  The past weeks since schools started back here have been really hard for us both, last week has been the hardest.  I am hoping that we have now sown the seed of some possibilities, dipping a toe into some new things that will hopefully lead to the connection she is looking for.

We have created space for a day at home each week, one that we make a commitment to.  If we are not going away and needing to pack and prepare we are using the time for creativity.  Alice has been keen to make a rucksack for herself for months.  I naively thought that could just fit around whatever else we were doing, I have realised it needs a set time, so now it has.  She created a pattern, the fabric has been purchased and is slowly being cut into the shapes needed.  A slow process fitting around the ebb and flow of everyday life.

One of the things I have loved about moving from the summer to the Autumn is that my morning routine has a space again.  I wrote about the spontaneity of the Summer and how that looked for me this year.  I did enjoy it but those things that I like to do each morning often got sidelined, I am loving the way that they anchor my days for me.  I have a few things that I do each morning, not always in the same order, before Alice and I get the day going together.  It gives us both a space before coming together.  I have missed this over the summer and have loved finding this groove again,  which has a more comfortable feel to it this year as we begin our second year without Cameron.

In the midst of all the goings on round here I realised that Cameron's eighteenth is in a few weeks time.  I have long had plans to give him the words that I wrote to him on each of his birthdays, some of which I have published here, in a book along with photos.  Those readers who have older children may, like me, have years when their children simply did not want to be in any photos that you take, I have so few from the past few years.  I am glad I remembered to do this in enough time, I am just finalising the last few tweeks and hope it will be delivered in time, postal strikes permitting.

Before I go, I had a few requests from my last post for the Rhubarb and Orange Sauce that I mentioned so here is the recipe that I follow.  I tend to just throw everything in the pan without weighing it so I am sorry that this is a bit vague with the quantities, I find that all recipes are a matter of taste so if isn't to your liking the first time you make it, do adjust it to suit your particular tastes.  It is rather delicious.

Rhubarb and Orange Sauce

Approx 2lbs Rhubarb chopped into smallish pieces

Juice and zest from 1-2 oranges

1 tablespoon honey

Optional 1 - 2 teaspoons ground ginger

Put all of the above in a pan, the amount of orange juice to add depends on how juicy your rhubarb is.  If you live in a very dry climate you might need to add more juice.  I don't always remember to add the ginger it tastes just as good without it.  Bring to the boil and then simmer for approx 30-40 minutes until the rhubarb is no longer recognisable as pieces and the sauce is fairly thick, it will thicken more as it cools.  I put this into jars, allow to cool and then freeze them until I want to use them.  This will not keep unless refrigerated due to the low sugar content. If you prefer things sweeter then add up to 400g of Caster Sugar for this quantity of Rhubarb.

12 comments:

  1. I look back at the time when my children were similar ages to yours and remember how busy life was. Things do change as they get older, they still need you, or mine do anyway, but in a different way. I miss having young children but I love the relationship I have with them now.

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  2. It is so important to have quiet times, in order to recharge, so that you can keep going, isn't it? Here's hoping that autumn and winter will provide those times.
    Best wishes
    Ellie

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  3. Really enjoyed reading how you carve out and appreciate time for yourself. Such a good thing!
    The lull before the craziness of the festive season.

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  4. Such a busy life you have! I am so glad you have been able to find time for yourself too. And thank you for the recipe!

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  5. I hope both you and Alice will fall into a steady rhythm before long. It must feel strange adjusting to your 'freedom' after all these years. X

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  6. "I sometimes feel like a toddler as I take these tentative steps, wistfully looking back to those times when my children were by my side, yet also loving this new way of being."
    I'm starting to get teeny, tiny glimpses of this reality in my own life. This year has been the biggest transition for our family yet. Both kids have so much new independence. For the most part, it has been wonderful. I'm trying to snuggle in extra long and night and have arms open and ready for when they might run over for a hug. But, in reality, they're spending more and more time on their own interests. To be sure, the almost 8-year-old still has lots of needs, but it is startling how quick they progress. Just last week he arrived home hungry and proceeded to scramble two eggs for himself. I watched the whole process and my heart swelled with love that he's getting so big (admittedly, he had to stand on a stool to slowly stir the eggs in the pan), but also a sadness that...he doesn't even need me to do all his cooking preparation anymore.
    I am very sorry it has been such a hard season for Alice with the change in routine as her friend goes back to school. It sounds like a time of confusion and hurt and my heart aches for her (and you) as you navigate the tricky emotions and decisions. Sending you love and hope things ease into a new normal that has many happy, fresh beginnings.

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  7. My morning routine helps me set the day of in a good way, I'm glad your morning has some space for that. Best of all as we ease into autumn the busyness of life tends to slow a tiny bit, I'm grateful for that.

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  8. Busy weekends up to Christmas! This makes me feel dizzy.... but I am glad to read you can slow down a bit during the week. I hope Alice enjoys making her backpack, quite a challenging project. Well done for creating her own pattern, I am impressed. I find it difficult to imagine a 3D object as a 2D pattern and have to rely on others to make patterns for me. It is such a wonderful idea to collect all the lovely words written to Cameron. He'll cherish this for years to come. Have a wonderful weekend xx

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  9. Yes I can understand your routines being necessary just to ground you. I feel the same. Each phase of parenthood gives new challenges and pleasures. Hopefully a little stability will form this winter. Good luck with those busy weekends. B x

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  10. Good luck with the fundraising! I love that you've created a space at home to do things like crafting. I keep meaning to do the same, but never seem to get around to it.

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  11. I love reading of your routines. Life does sound busy so good you get you time in the mornings. How lovely to have kept all that you have written to Cameron, that is something he can treasure for life. Snowbird.xxx

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  12. Thank you for visiting my blog and letting me know you exist. I've really enjoyed going through your posts. I am going to add you to my reading list so I can continue the journey with you.

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