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16 March 2022

Finding hope and peace


I am standing on a hill, the wind is blowing hard and right through me.  They call it a lazy wind in these parts.   I can feel its power as it buffets against me.  There is a stand of trees surrounding a small mound on top of this hill.  It is a place I have been to many times recently, it is a few miles from my house.  I had no idea it was here until I heard about it on a podcast, one of my favourites, which features walks in my local area.  Each time I have been here before there has been no view, nothing to be seen but fog, cloud or mist.  

I am not high up on this hill, yet I can see for miles in every single direction I look, I have a 360 view.  It has been lost to the mists of times now, but it is thought that this was a meeting point of several ancient roads across the fell.  This makes sense to me as the trees on this hill are visible for miles around, each time we have been for a walk in the area we have looked for the them in the distance.  In the days before maps a tree, or stand of trees would have made a good visible point to aim for.

I am blown away by the view as well as the wind.  It has been in my imagination until now, images put together from the places I could see these trees from.  There is a part of me that liked that not being able to see, of being able to imagine what was beyond the mist and fog.

Two years ago the future became a very uncertain place, the effects of this over the past two years have been slow and cumulative, tilting us off balance.  Just when it felt like maybe, just maybe, we might finally be able to see the light glimmering like a tiny dot at the end of the tunnel, we now find ourselves in a new one.  One that is every bit as confusing as the last one we found ourselves in.  

We are now navigating a new world disorder.

The news is hard to read and watch at times like this.  We want to be informed, which is difficult in itself.   Since this day when I lost a colleague to tragedy, a fellow teenager, I have a distrust of the media.  I read, but I don't always believe.  

The first casualty of war is always the truth.

The volume of information can get overwhelming, it is important to take time out.  To turn to the things that nourish us and not to feel guilty for doing that.  It is ok to get on with your life, your worries and hard things are important too.  We have enough to worry about right now, without beating ourselves up that our lives are not hard enough.  

We can still be compassionate, thoughtful and caring to others, as we live in the safety of our own lives.

It is difficult to unsee and hear things.  As I stand here on this hill, buffeted by the wind, drinking in the view, there is a part of me that would like to be wrapped up in that fog, taking from me the images I have viewed over the past weeks.  Images that are difficult and hard to comprehend, that are now in my mind, that I do not want to continue to see, as my brain makes sense of the world we all live in.

We have to hope that all will be well.  That we can find the beauty in the world again.  The emergence of Spring feels like it will be extra special this year, the hope it brings with it supporting us through this time.  

Take care of you and yours.

**********

Apologies for the poor photo in this post.  I assumed that, having seen from a distance, the stand of trees I mention so many times on recent walks, I would have lots of photos I could choose from.  I had two, this one and one other which was even worse.  This is five miles from the trees, which looks like one big tree from this distance, I have marked it with a wee arrow.

18 comments:

  1. "There is a part of me that would like to be wrapped up in that fog." I feel this so much. What we see unfolding in the media is always heartbreaking and difficult to process and yet, as you say, we must not feel guilt for living our life here. Now. I'm not sure we were ever meant to be so connected around the globe; to live a life drowned in other's sorrow. We have/and will, have our own sorrows to deal with through the passage of time. So I too am trying to focus on that which nourishes me whilst, of course, remaining compassionate and caring.

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    1. You are so right Alice that we cannot live a life drowning in other people's sorrows. I really struggle with the notion that we are made to feel bad when we don't live that way, that that somehow makes us uncaring and lucky in compasssion. We have to find our way through this things whatever that looks like, and that should not be laden with guilt by someone else who things otherwise.

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  2. That says so eloquently how I feel. I care, of course I care, but I cannot keep watching/listening/seeing the sorrow of others. I suspect many other people feel the same.
    Best wishes
    Ellie

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    1. Thank you so much Ellie. We do need to have break sometimes and that is ok.

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  3. The news is so full of events in Ukraine that it can be hard to see past it all, but you're right, we do have to continue with our own lives. I think what we've seen in the media will have a huge impact on many of us, the reporting has brought home the impact of war and I hope it will make us more compassionate.

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    1. It is so hard to see past it all you are so right Jo. I sincerely hope that, whilst the news reporting on the impact of war is indeed so difficult to watch, we are all more compassionate as a result of it.

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  4. I agree with all your feelings but I also find it hard to continue with normal life - I feel quite paralised to do anything at the moment. I feel like we are being plunged into Old Testament times of raging battles, plagues of locusts and all the unrest that is written there. The message of the New Testament is purely and simply to love one another...in doing so such evil as we are seeing unfold before us could never happen. And you don't have to be religious to love one another.
    I expect a world of peace and love is one we shall never experience though as money seems to be at the root of everthing these days and with money seems to come power. I am shocked that we are now turning to the Arabs to supply more oil given their awful human rights acts - seems we are leaving the frying pan to jump into the fire.

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    1. I agree with so much of this. The news, if we absorb so much of it, can be so paralysing. It is such a balance isn't between keeping touch with what is going on in the world and having too much of it as it often so negative, upsetting and hard to take in. Money is so pernicious isn't it, we cannot live without it but as you so rightly say it is at the root of everything and with money/wealth comes power. I cling on the hope and belief that there will be a tipping point when that ceases to be the case.

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  5. "A new world disorder". How completely right. It is hard to know where to start in an attempt to regain some order. Walking in lazy winds is a good place to start.

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    1. Yes it is so hard to know where to start, and that can feel overwhelming in and of itself. A walk is always a good way to reset and nourish us.

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  6. Thank you for your beautiful post. You capture so well how many of us are feeling right now. XO

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    1. You are so very welcome Kym, I appreciate you kind words.

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  7. "The volume of information can get overwhelming, it is important to take time out...We have enough to worry about right now, without beating ourselves up that our lives are not hard enough.

    We can still be compassionate, thoughtful and caring to others, as we live in the safety of our own lives."

    This is beautiful. It's also hard to process and I appreciate you highlighting that life does have to go on. We can donate and pray. But I think the best thing we can do is love others. Those around us in our sphere and pray that love spreads out in a ripple, impacting more and more people. Even saying that out loud feels silly, sometimes, but it's what the world needs so desperately - LOVE. And people around us need that love, too. There is always someone hurting, and a kind word or gesture can have a disproportionate impact.

    The burdens of the world do feel heavy - the pandemic, the many conflicts that are raging, changes to climate...but we all have personal burdens to bear too and by treating ourselves and others with kindness, we are almost certainly going to be able to have a greater impact on those around us. Self-care is a cliche term these days, but I'm trying not to feel guilty about that, but treat it as an important and necessary part of being able to impact others for good. When my "house is in order" - mentally and physically - I will be much better able to help others. It's a lesson that has/is taking me a long time to learn, but I'm feeling more and more emboldened to 1) show myself grace and kindness and b) recognize that every act of love, however small, really *can* change the world (and we aren't going to know what act at what time will have an impact; it may take years to come full circle, but that isn't my responsibility. I perform the act of kindness and let God take care of the rest).
    Wow - I guess I had a lot of thoughts on this topic. But it is something I've been pondering a lot the last two years as I've felt burned out from all the negativity and hardship and feeling personally responsible for bearing all the burdens of the world. Thanks again for this great post! I'm going to come back and read it again.

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    1. Elisabeth, I had to reply to your comment as so much of it resonates with me. You have so eloquently expressed how I feel. The ripple effect doesn't sound silly—I believe in this wholeheartedly. What else can we do but to spread the love, in each and every day.

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    2. Elisabeth and Alice thank you so much for your beautiful and heartfelt words in response to mine. I truly believe that if we show tenderness and care towards everyone this absolutely does ripple out and is the answer to how we can live in peace and harmony. It does not cost anything to be kind. Small acts of kindness can and do change the world. I am also a huge believer in paying it forward, I don't ever expect anything in return, it is always lovely if it is reciprocated but that is not a debt to be repaid but a act of kindness in itself.

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  8. A beautiful post. How I wish I had a hill with foggy views nearby to nourish me. These are distressing times, I hope and pray this war ends and doesn't escalate any further.xxx

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    1. Thank you so much. We need to support each other as we navigate this unsettling time.

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  9. Firstly, I love your hill top photo in the lazy wind (great phrase). It is very painterly! Spot on words SM. I find recent events overwhelming and the feeling of helplessness is hard to bear. I take breathers from the news, try to return to it with a more leveled head and help where I can. Hope you have a good week m' luverly xXx

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