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28 December 2021

A different kind of Advent












Last Wednesday was a very full day for me, it was intentional and planned  When you have to drive to most places you need to be, whilst also allowing for all the extra layers you need to put on at this time of year, a half an hour to an hour activity can take up over two hours of time.  So rather than going out every day of the week for a short while, I opted for a day which was full to the brim, I could then have two full days at home.  I do love my days at home.

I would never have considered planning to intentionally have a very full day, not so long ago.  That would have been a recipe for me thinking about it a lot on the days leading up to it, I would have been awake for most of the previous night worrying about how I was going to fit everything in.   A wakeful night would mean that I was really tired during my busy day, I would forget things or become anxious that I would be late to where I needed to be.   I would be a bag full of worries and anxieties for days.

I know that the last, nearly two, years have been hard for all of us.  I know that the future is and always will be an uncertain place but the added uncertainties of late have been very unsettling.  The enforced slowing down of my life has had unexpected consequences which I have been really grateful for, one of those is that when I focus only on the day ahead and what I need or want to do and how to make it all work, I am totally present.  That doesn't mean that I am not thinking about the bigger picture at all but rather that I am not focusing on the detail of the days ahead which are often the bits that bring in the worries with them and doesn't leave us with much headspace to think about much else.

When the first of December rolled around I had not thought about Advent at all.  In the past I have prepared four weeks of stories, poems and activities based around a different theme each week, usually starting my preparation way back in November.   It would have to be different this year with Cameron at college but I still wanted to do things with Alice.  I have amassed a lovely collection of Christmas storybooks for older children and although we would not have the time to read all these ,as we have in the past, there were some that simply had to be read.  I made some loose plans, a list of possibilities for each week, it gave us all a simpler heartfelt Advent this year.  Rethinking things in this way meant that when I had to make an early tea before Alice went out to Scouts I used the evening to make all the Christmas cards that I was sending this year in one evening and felt a real sense of accomplishment.  I have been making my own cards for years and years and I don't ever remember getting them made in such a short time.  I know that making them is only one part of the process, they did all get written and posted in time even the handful of international ones.  Leaving it late to plan things turned out ok, I had to reduce what we could do but that is no bad thing at this time of year which can get really busy.  Choosing the things that really mattered is something we should probably be doing all the time anyway.

When I write something down to be done on a particular day it psychologically adds a pressure for me to complete it on that day and when circumstances do not allow for that I feel that I have failed in some way.  That last sentence should really have been written in the past tense, another consequence of the last couple of years is that I am learning to let go of this.  I am slowly learning that it is ok when things that I have planned will not be able to happen, it is not a failure.  Even those loose plans I had made did not quite come to fruition as life got in the way.  We read very few of the stories that I had intentions to share this year, prioritising the ones that we love and Advent really would not feel right without sharing them,  The Glass Angels by Susan Hill being one of them.

It is also about trusting that all will be well when it feels like your plans are a little too fluid than you might have usually chosen them to be.  I knew that I wanted to make a few small gifts to give this year, when my Mother in Law was visiting us for a long weekend at the beginning of the month it was forecast to rain for most of her stay, a chance remark by her that she would love to do more crafting led to us doing just that on each day of her stay.  We did needle felting, quilling and wood burning together and I used the time to make several small gifts.

Advent and Christmas is now over for another year.  It has felt relaxed and calm this year, I will try to remember this for future years, that it is possible to have a loose plan and it is ok to let go when things don't pan out quite how we envisaged they would, it does work!  

I hope whatever you celebrate at this time of year has been restful and restoring for you and yours too.

26 comments:

  1. Nice to see you back, I have just noticed your posts in my reader. I am glad you had a relaxed Christmas and hope the New Year brings joy. xx

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  2. Love all those makes both edible and decorative but my goodness that table full of delicious food is stunning. Merry Christmas xx

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    1. Thank you San. That table full of food was delicious and thoroughly special as I did not make any of it. It was a friends amazing daughter whose house a few of us went to to celebrate the winter solstice.

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  3. That sounds more as Christmas should be - concentrating on the important things to you and enjoying time together.
    Best wishes
    Ellie

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    1. It is the kind of Christmas I have been craving for years and am now loving that it has finally arrived at my door.

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  4. How beautiful your photos are. I like your intentional slowdown, and being mindful of each day. I was able to do that last year but this one has been a whirlwind, for good reasons but still a bit hectic and tiring. Before the pandemic I was storytelling in December, Christmas carols, their history, folklore, and stories, often with a musician friend. it was fun and really got me into the season, while at the same time it made the month kind of crazy with so much traveling about. Next year I hope we can go back to the quieter, more mindful days that I crave.

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    1. Thank you! Sometimes this time of year can get crazy busy can't it, it is hard to say no to things at the moment especially if it involves seeing family who we haven't seen for a while. I hope January is a little quieter for you.

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  5. Oh goodness, I so empathise with your comment about having written down a task for the day and then the feeling of having failed when it is not completed. Not healthy and something I too am trying very hard to stop.

    Thank you for, once again, putting something into words far better than I can. xx

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    1. Thank you Jayne, it is not a healthy habit indeed but it is good to know that I am not alone on that one. It is so hard to stop doing it isn't it but I am sure that if we are aware of when we are doing it, slowly but surely we will be able to change.

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  6. What delightful photos, all home made no doubt! Yes, I can empathise with a list that weighs heavy, I try not to fret if things don't get done. xxx

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    1. Thank you, yes it is mostly all home made not all by me though!

      It is hard not to fret isn't, I like the way that you have worded that about a list that weighs heavy, I am going to remember that as it really speaks to me, I need to find a way to make it lighter, that makes it easier for me to think about it, thank you x

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  7. Often the unplanned can create the best memories. X

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    1. That is so true! When I think back over the things we have done this year that is true of most if not all of the things that I have lovely memories of.

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  8. I am glad you have found your way through the festivities with peace. So many people stress over the perfect dinner, the perfect gifts and it is not about that. We enjoy out time togther and appreciate what we have. I love your card design it is very clever and the decorations. All the best for the new year. x

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    1. Wise words, this time of year is about spending time together and appreciating what we have. I have been searching for that at Christmas for years and could never quite make it happen.

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  9. I think that most of us have changed in some way throughout the pandemic. If nothing else, I'm sure we all realise that plans sometimes have to change and not everything can be cast in stone. I'm glad you had a lovely, restful Christmas, just as it should be.

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    1. I think you right Jo, that we have all had to change, I am glad that I have had to although I know some folks who have struggled with those changes, it is hard. You are so right that not everything is cast in stone and although I know that I have struggled with uncertainty in the past which is definitely easing for me now for which I am glad.

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  10. I am glad you allowed yourself to slow down and relax and enjoy a restful Christmas. I rarely slow down and when I do, I struggle with it.... Happy New Year when it comes x

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    1. I am sorry to hear that you struggle with slowing down, rest is so restoring but it is hard to allow it in isn't it.

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  11. I'm glad you had a lovely Christmas season!

    Blessings~

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  12. Just dropping by quickly to wish you a happy and healthy New Year - I have a lot to catch up on in blogland so will be back soon. x

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    1. Lovely to hear from you Viv, A Happy New Year to you and yours too x

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  13. This sounds both lovely and...sustainable. Life was meant to be lived at this pace and it's so hard to carve out the space to give our lives more buffer.
    I'm reading this post late, but having just finished a week of online learning for my young kiddo's I'm feeling 100% "spent." This was a refreshing reminder to take it easy; get off the productivity treadmill for a while and just enjoy life and be in the moment.

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    1. Welcome, thank you for dropping by and leaving a comment. It is so hard to be in the moment isn't it but when we can find the space to do that it feel like a safe and nourishing place to be.

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