The recipe for an ordinary day

When I wake each morning, during the week, one of the first things I do is housework.  You might think that is slightly bonkers, perhaps it is, but it works for me.  I used to be a do it all in one morning housework type of person but it would feel like a drudge when I did it that way.  It didn't matter how I thought about it, most weeks I would do the bare minimum.  When I discovered TOMM back at the beginning of the year I wasn't sure how long I would last, six months in and I am not going back to how I did things before, this totally works for me.  I had to write prompts in my diary at first to help me remember what I was doing each day, now it is just Fridays which is my deeper clean in a particular room day.

Doing the housework first is a good way for me to wake up, I am often slow to do this.  I am often alone in the house, Cameron is out doing his paper round and everyone else is still asleep.  I don't wake to an alarm so there is the odd morning when I wake up after my husband, it feels like someone is invading my space when that happens!  I sometimes plug myself into a podcast on my phone if I can cope with input.  

I don't do the jobs in the same order each day, I often get distracted by other things that need doing or checking messages on my phone and answering them.  When Cameron comes home with his daily newspaper that is often a distraction too, although these days I have retreated from most media input, the news reads more like a soap opera these days.  Have you come across Positive News?  I can recommend it as a source of news that won't have you feeling like you have got off the bus at the wrong stop and are now living in a parallel universe.

I have been doing yoga stretches in the morning for about three or four years.  I started with a sun salutation which lasted five minutes or so, I have gradually increased this to about twenty five minutes on average as I have added other positions.  I have woken exhausted or with headache or feeling very out of sorts and after just a few minutes of yoga I can feel everything relaxing and calming.  It is such an important start to my day that I can feel it when I don't do it, not to mention the fact that I feel stronger as it keeps my muscles in daily use.

With the housework done and my yoga stretches completed I head for the shower.  I have a friend who lives near one of the many lakes that gives my part of my country its well known name.  She had taken to swimming in this lake as many mornings during the week as she could manage, often joined by several friends.  They would do this year round, in the summer they would swim in the winter it was a 'dip' in and out, but whatever the season they would fully immerse themselves.  I have heard that this is really good for you and my friend has often told me of all the wonderful benefits of cold water immersion.  Sadly I don't live near enough to any lakes to make it viable for me to do that but always one to think outside the box I figured I could have a daily cold shower instead.  It seems I am so last year the Independent were writing about the benefits of a cold shower over 20 years ago!  I started doing this late last year and managed to keep going through the depths of winter, it is as invigorating as anyone who writes about it makes out it is.  I dare you to give it a go!

On a day when I have had a really good sleep and managed to stay focused it might be around 8am by now, but most days it is nearer nine, but whatever the time it is breakfast on mind next.  I expect this meal is rather different to what you might eat.  The only cereal we have in the house is oats, I honestly cannot remember when I last ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast.  The menu depends on the day of the week it might be oatmeal pancakes, or fermented pancakes with sautéed spinach and onion, boiled egg with salad and rainbow flat breads or occasionally millet and quinoa porridge.  Once this meal is over and cleared away my mind starts to focus on the rest of the day.

I used to have days when I would need to be out of the house at 9am with food and drink to last us the day and clothing for a messy art class followed by forest school with a 45 minute drive in between.  Admittedly that was our busiest day and I was used to it then as we would be out the house at something everyday.  We get used to things when they are normal and what we do each and every week don't we.  

It seems such a long time ago, but I can still remember that week when slowly, like the receding tide, the things that defined and shaped our week were cancelled, leaving our diary a blank and empty page for the first time since we made that huge step to start home educating.  We found ourselves at home all the time, along with rest of our country, confined to its walls by our need to come together to protect the vulnerable and prevent the health service becoming overwhelmed.  

We found ways to make that normal.  Slowly building ourselves a rhythm that included some of the things that we had always done at home and adding in those things that we had done in classes and groups but we wanted to continue.  We had mornings of focusing on nature journalling, creating, French, projects and exercise depending on the day of the week.  The afternoons were about a daily walk and video calls to catch up with friends who we could no longer see face to face.  There was lots of sewing, the garden had never had so much attention and my recipe books were dusted off, old favourites were rediscovered and new ones tried out.  

We were doing ok.  

No actually I was doing more than ok, I loved being in lockdown.  I loved the peace and quiet it bought to my head. I no longer needed to be thinking ahead, what are we doing today, tomorrow, next week.  I could live in the present.  

When life was busy, many of the things that really needed my thoughts, I had quietly shelved, now I could take them down and give them focus, find acceptance with some of the most difficult ones.  At times it felt like I was opening a flood gate, that I was drowning in words and thoughts that I couldn't get into order, but reaching out to a few dear friends has deepen already solid connections and helped me to make sense of things.  I am still a work in progress as we all are, but I feel a peace that I haven't felt for years.  

And then my husband got that call, the one that we all knew would come one day, furlough pay was not going to last forever, he had to go back to work.

It was another tide going out, inevitable and not in our control.  We had to find another normal.  As the main facilitator of the children's education much stayed the same but being the only adult at home full time with the children was not something I had done for years, not since Alice was a baby.  The little time I had in pockets during the day seem to evaporate.  I began to wonder if those few hours that I had each afternoon had gone back to work with my husband, it always seem to be time to make a meal.  I was exhausted all the time.  I pared back everything I did to spending most afternoons resting as I worked out how I could fit in the things I needed to do along with those that I wanted to.

In the background was the news.  Things were changing, we were 'allowed' to do more.  Meeting up with friends became a possibility, I knew that Alice was desperate to do this and arranged for it to happen for her first.  It felt surreal, driving in the car (Alice's second trip out the village in months), walking in a familiar place with friends but doing that weird dance to ensure that you maintain space between each other and those we met whilst out walking.  I came home exhausted and wishing it would go back to lockdown when everything was calmer, easier and clear cut.

But life continues to be one of change and we found ourselves being able to do more of the usual things, most shops were able to open, the roads got busier as people moved around more.  The tourists returned to where I live, I encountered queues when driving for the first time in four months.  It was all rather unnerving. the world had sped up and I wasn't able to keep up with it and didn't want to.  

We have met with friends my own, Alice's, Cameron has spent an afternoon walking with one of his.  He has plans to go mountain biking with a different friend next week.  I am torn.  There is a part of me that wants the living in the present to continue, to not have to think about arrangements for the coming week.  I need the headspace before meeting people so I prefer not to arrange things at the last minute, I am exhausted afterwards so still need to make sure that I don't arrange too much in a week, just now.  These complications fill my head, as do the thoughts of making arrangements.  But I am loving spending time with friends.  It is another normal that I am yet to get used to, it is a work in progress as each change has been.

So each morning as I rise, I am comforted by those hours that are the same every day.  I am holding onto those for as long as I can, they are the important ingredients in my life right now.  What are yours?