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15 June 2022

Othering

I watched a wonderful documentary film recently, for the second time.  I know that I will watch this again*.  It is honest, heartfelt, and for me an education.  I am aware that the topic means that you might not think it is for you, and that perhaps it makes you uncomfortable, I sincerely hope that is it not the case, I would challenge anyone to watch this and not be touched in some way.  It has given me the beginnings of an understanding of the challenges faced by those that are labelled just for being different in the eyes of the others, to me this means that there must be a 'normal' out there that this is being compared to which is a whole other topic which would need its own post.

Around the same time I also watched a second film on the same platform about a completely different topic but again it was about people being treated unkindly and unjustly.  I was horrified and appalled to learn about the experience of people who were trying to enjoy the beautiful countryside, that I am blessed to call home, like so many thousands of others do, that because they have a different colour skin and were wearing clothing unfamiliar to many they were questioned about what they were doing there.  

We humans all have the same needs and wants wherever we live in the world, whatever our life looks like and we look like.  We need shelter, a safe place to call home, food to nourish us, safe places to work and play.  Our external experience does not change what's inside.

I have always struggled with labels, and to be marginalised by others has always baffled and upset me.  I have often wondered if this possibly comes from a place of fear.  Fear from the person who feels that those that do not look, act and behave like themselves must be a threat to them.  A threat that is going to reduce and diminish their own place in the world.

When we fear something we don't want to get to know more about it.  Our lack of understanding feeds our fear.  We might put it in a box and ignore it, perhaps treat it with contempt, we will often do everything in our powers to not let it into our lives.  We might keep quiet about it or we might tell others, sometimes loudly.  The voices that shout the loudest are usually the ones that get heard especially when we have the power to share this many times over to reach the widest possible audience.  

Those loud voices are also shouting to, I believe, to create divisions, pitting groups against each other and thereby keeping people separate, as disparate groups who see other groups as a threat.  The media plays a role in feeding the toxicity of this division to the advantage of those who benefit from divisions. often as a diversionary tactic so you don't notice other things going on.  We are a social species who thrive on being with others and living alongside others in harmony, when we are divided we are weakened and life becomes considerably less harmonious.

I listened to an episode of a podcast recently, it was one that I had been listening to for some time but I had sensed a subtle change of direction over the previous few episodes.  I was no longer nodding my head along to the words I was hearing, my forehead was getting more and more furrowed with each episode as the words drifted further and further into areas that did not make for comfortable listening.  I am all for being challenged by what I am listening to and actively seek out podcasts that do this for me.  I do not want an echo chamber in my ears, constantly feeding me with words that do not make me see things from a different perspective.  The discussion was dismissive and finding fault with the views of others which were the opposite to their own.  There was no explanation as to why, they were just wrong, apparently.  I stopped following this lazy journalism, but I am sure that there are many that will continue to listen.  

We are never all going to agree on everything, I would not want to live in a world where that was so, but we all deserve a voice, whatever our views and opinions.  I believe that there would be more tolerance in the world and we would not hear words that are so violent towards others, if all voices were given a space and listened to.  I believe that this would start the healing process of engendering a sense of community, belonging, cohesion, looking out for each other, of care towards ourselves and others, being part of something, the togetherness would feed and nourishes us.   When we don't feel isolated and resent others who are different to us, we are no longer wary of them.

It feels to me, that divisions all over the world are getting worse.  I hold onto the hope that there are enough people out there who don't want to live in a world like that.  We are the ones that need to have a quiet revolution of compassion.

* I watched it on this website, a rather wonderful collection of documentary films of varying lengths about a huge range of very interesting subjects, it is free to sign up.

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When I was pondering the title to this post I considered the word Division, I was worried that folks would think it was a post about maths and maybe not click through.  I know that maths is a subject that some people are not fond of, a divisive topic in itself.  In the way that my brain works I then moved onto to the maths symbol for division and in the light of where my thoughts were swirling considered it in a completely different way, not as a maths symbol,  ÷ , it became the top of two heads divided by a wall. 


21 comments:

  1. I really don't know what's wrong with some people, perhaps it does come from fear, I don't know, but why can't people just live and let live. Wouldn't the world be a happier place.

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    1. The world would be a much happier place if we just live and let live. I don't profess to understand it all either Jo but it is a worry and upsetting.

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  2. I just watched the wild swimming film , hopefully more people from diverse backgrounds are getting to enjoy the countryside more now, maybe because of hiking/swimming groups like the ladies in the film. I used to gawk when I saw any swimmer in a lake/river! It's much more common now, I have even tried it myself. :)

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    1. I know what you mean about gawking at anyone wild swimming it was much less common a few years ago wasn't it. I love it and am a recent convert.

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  3. I wonder do division and diversity have the same root? We need Susie Dent on the case .
    Fantastic documentaries - I look forward to seeing the film Seahorse when it comes out. the trailer is intriguing. I'm so fed up with people seeing the' other' - NI will never ever get over this constant division and they don't even need to bring sexual orientation and colour into the equation, although anyone that's different is a target - it is soooooo annoying. Why can't people see that different is beautiful. If we were all the same what a boring world we would live in.

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    1. Hi Fil, Seashorse is out and has been for a while, my link took you to the trailer. I hope you can find the full film somewhere. I watched it on a platform called Waterbear which I link to above, so many interesting films to watch on there.

      Love your question about division and diversity, no idea whether they have the same root. I shall ponder that one.

      I hear you on being different, in some ways that makes us all a target for some reason, dividing us up so we are less strong. I feel so sure that that is an agenda by those that are in power to help them stay there. They have a need to feel above everyone else and need to keep it that way.

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  4. This is a really thoughtful post and I agree with what you are saying as it upsets me when I see others being hurt (emotionally, physically, any way) because they are classed by some people as being "different."
    Mxx

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    1. Thank you so much. It is so upsetting when others are singled out for being different, I hear you. I so wish we could find a way to all be at peace.

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  5. "Those loud voices are also shouting to, I believe, to create divisions, pitting groups against each other and thereby keeping people separate, as disparate groups who see other groups as a threat." I totally agree with you here - Machiavelli had it right - divide and rule. Those voices who shout the loudest are not necessarily the ones we should listen to.
    Best wishes
    Ellie

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    1. Thank you Ellie. I have not heard of that quote of Machiavelli but dividing and ruling is not a recipe for a healthy society.

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  6. I nodded throughout this post, I completely agree with you. How interesting seeing the division sigh as two heads divided by a wall. Snowbird xxx

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    1. Thank you Snowbird, I am glad you enjoyed reading my words.

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  7. what a beautiful post that is written so eloquently. I believe we lead with LOVE and if the whole world did that humanity would be perfect in every single way. Clinging to tradition which in a way is fear of change is what creates the problems in this world.

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    1. Thank you Karen. I love what you have said about clinging to tradition, that is so true I had not thought about that. A fear of change, of needing to keep things how they are as they feel safe and probably make you feel powerful too. Thank you.

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  8. I've been teaching on a similar subject very recently. All adults, supposedly rational. I've come to the conclusion that some are just very uncomfortable with having their behaviour or thinking challenged, and when they are uncomfortable, they get angry and defensive. Often, they forget their own humanity, and isn't that what we need more than anything?

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    1. Oh this is so true, thank you Tonia. How interesting that you have been teaching a similar subject recently. That is a good reminder that some get uncomfortable with having their behaviour or thinking challenged which makes them angry and defensive. We need to keep hold of our humanity, you are so right, thank you so much for your thought provoking comment.

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  9. Thanks for your links, I have been looking for something to watch. I'll enjoy your recommendations. I often think that the individuals in the media and social media in particular are a lot more polarised, nasty and angry than persons I meet in daily life. I am hopeful that most people have a kind heart and an open mind to being different. It would be nice to see more of this kindness on social media and the news.

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    1. I hope you enjoy watching them as much as I did. I can really recommend Waterbear, it is such a good platform full of really interesting films of widely varying lengths. It is so true what you say about individuals in the media and social media being more polarised, nasty and angry than people you meet in real life. I wish it was not that way but you are so right, it would be good to more of the kindness we meet in our daily lives on social media and the news. It is one of the reasons I stopped engaging, I stopped wanting to engage with it all.

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  10. I watched the film Sea Horse Dad as part of my doula training, it was very touching. Thanks for sharing the link to the other documentary, I’ll definitely give it a watch xx

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    1. Lovely to hear from you San, I do hope you are all keeping well. I am glad to hear that you enjoyed the Sea Horse film too, I love that you watched it as part of your doula training, that is wonderful to hear.

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  11. Here in the US it is an absolutely terrible time for othering. Each day brings a new heartbreak. I suppose all I can do is continue to educate myself and support the causes trying to make a positive difference. Thanks for the recommendation of Water Bear, I signed up! My library also has a service called Kanopy which seems similar and has a ton of free documentaries.

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Hello......would love to hear from you :)