Moments...

...this year of...

...happiness...
the moments that made me happiest at the end of last year were happy moments this year too, but one of the reasons I love to write these posts each week is to find beauty in those ordinary moments, the small things that could pass me by if I did not pause to consider them, quiet time, time with family, time at home, celebrating festivals, meeting with friends, our garden and the veggies we grow, spending time outdoors each week are but a few of them.

...sadness...
the horrendous accident which my brother had this year.  He cycles to work every day come rain or shine a distance of over five miles one way and has cycled thousands of miles without incident.  It was still dark on the morning of the accident, too late to avoid an unlit skip parked illegally in the road he hit it bounced in and back out onto the road.  He moved it four inches.  He suffered multiple injuries and has one uninjured limb, it could be July before can get back on a bike.  We are so lucky to still have him with us.  He was saved by his helmet, please if you are a cyclist and don't wear one start to today.

...creating...
amongst many things Viking Costumes, a King Winter for our seasonal table, a shawl for my mother, a fulled bowl, a Mother Earth for our seasonal table, an Owl Storysack, a Gnome, clothes for a dolly, Fabric Buckets, a lined shift dress Tutorial, Strawberry Peg People for our seasonal table and many Christmas Presents

...reading...
I have read more books than I ever expected to this year,  I have made time for reading in my life going to bed early and reading until I feel sleepy.  I am also sleeping a lot better for it too.  A few books I have really enjoyed are Consolation by Anna Galvalda a beautiful story about second choices, Gossip from the Forest by Sara Maitland, a charming look at the link between forests and fairytales, The Still Point by Amy Sackville a woman attemping to tidy her ancestral home makes an unexpected discovery about her past, The Beautiful Truth by Belinda Seaward set in Kraków in World War Two and modern day UK, Kith by Jay Griffiths an examination of childhood, a four part fantasy by William Horwood each book set in one of the four seasons, the last two books in the MaddAddam trilogy by Margaret Atwood a highly believable story set in the future, Citadel by Kate Mosse set in World War Two in occupied France, The Summer Garden by Paullina Simons the final book in The Bronze Horseman Trilogy, The Secret Life of Trees by Colin Tudge and The Luminaries by Eleanor Caton a very long and intriguing story set in New Zealand during the gold rush.

...learning..

about so many wonderful things which I have written about each time I post about our moments, it has been a year of steady, slow changes this year.  The sort that if you don't focus on them they get lost in the busyness of life.  I am glad that I pause at the end of each week to think and reflect on what we have been learning about and record that here on this blog, I had been thinking of stopping these posts but I will continue as it is wonderful to look back over them.

...thinking...

about many things including the future of my eldest's education, the monoculture of grass, the abstract concept of time, what deschooling means to me, a temporary community, contacting old friends, our home ed rhythm, recipes and writing

...hoping...

in 2015 to stay true to what I believe in and to look after my family to the best of my abilities.

...looking forward to

another great year, full of moments, how about you......

Goldfinch

Depression is not something I have written about here before, sadly it is a subject that many shy away from in a manner reminiscent of our Victorian ancestors.  It is a major theme of a book I read this month, one that I would call a marmite book judging by the reviews I have read.  The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt is a long book, too long for some but not for me.  I remember reading a précis of the plot not long after this book was first published and thinking that the book was not for me.  I found it on the shelves of our local library and started to read the first few pages and was pulled into the book and there I stayed, hooked, until the end.  My parents are both still alive, I cannot imagine how I will feel when they are no longer with us.  Theo Decker, the main character, is just thirteen when his mother dies.  She was the centre of his world.  At thirteen we are a minor in the eyes of the law, in need of looking after when the person who provides that dies and is not replaced it is little wonder to me that Theo reacts in the way he does, befriending another teenager in a similar situation and immersing himself in many murky worlds.  If you not able to make peace and come to terms with events in your past they will haunt you for the rest of your life as his mothers' death does for Theo.  The title of this book is taken from a painting which Theo acquires at the beginning of the story and keeps hold of despite knowing that it should be returned.  By keeping hold of it, it haunts him, its very presence serving as a replacement for that which he has lost further adding to his bewilderment as he struggles to come to terms with an adulthood riddled with his unmet childhood needs.  I absolutely loved this book as have the previous two novels by Donna Tartt.

Reading Mrs Sinclair's Suitcase by Louise Walters straight after reading the Goldfinch may, in hindsight, have not been the best choice.  I wanted something shorter and lighter, this book ticks both those boxes however the shorter length means that you don't get the in depth character analysis.  This book is set in the 1940s and the present day and examines the lives of two women connected by a letter and a suitcase, it is an examination of what it is to love and be loved by our mothers and then later in life by men.  I enjoyed this book despite it leaving me wanting more.

I managed to pick up a second book, without realising it at the time which is very similar to my last book.  The Lightkeeper's Wife by Karen Viggers is another book set in the modern day and the past.  It also centres on two characters this time a mother and son.  This mother is coming to the end of her life and desires to make peace with her last before she dies.  Her son meanwhile has been struggling to come to terms with an event in his past which has placed his life on hold ever since.  This book examines some relationships but there was one in particular which was not explained and I found this rather frustrating.

In a rare bizarre coincidence the last book I have read this month is also one which moves from the present to the past, however in The Last Boat Home by Dea Brøvig it is the main character's life we are examining in those two time periods. A debut novel for this author it is set in a small town in Norway in the 70s and the present day, it examines the harsh life and sacrifices the main character makes through the love for her mother and later in life her own daughter and grand daughter.  There was a point in this book that I nearly stopped reading as I had started to lose interest but something made me pick it up again and I am glad I read to the end.  I have read reviews that compare this book to Burial Rites by Hannah Kent a book I read my self not so long ago, I can see parallels between the two books although the subject of each is very different.

I am going to give fiction a wee break and read a book I was given for Christmas The Old Ways by Robert MacFarlane, it is a walk of discovery thorough the old routes in the UK.  I am looking
forward to this book as I have been wanting to read this for a while now.

Linking up with A Year in Books

Happiness.....

...is celebrating with family.

Whatever you are celebrating at this time of year I hope it is filled with happiness and peace.

Moments...

...this week of...

...happiness a lovely Winter Solstice celebration with family, getting all my presents made and wrapped, feeling relaxed

...sadness at the events in the world this week

...creating angel peg people, a glasses case, a scarf, a sock, houses out of cardboard boxes

...learning about castles, planets, numbers, geometry

...reading Mrs Sinclair's Suitcase by Louise Walters and The Lightkeeper's Wife by Karen Viggers, to the children Tumtum and Nutmeg's Christmas Adventure by Emily Bearn, but no new picture books 

...thinking of all those that alone at this time year.

...wondering if the weather will be calm for our journey

...hoping the mice don't set up home in our home whilst we are away like they did a couple of years ago at this time of year!

...enjoying this

...looking forward to spending a week with my extended family

Maths

Maths was one of my favourite subjects at school but I know that I am likely to be in the minority.  Sadly there are too many who not only hate maths but were actively put off the subject by poor teaching, we don't all learn the same way and this is a subject that can be hard to learn if you are not taught in a way that you understand.  A few months ago I posted about a day in our learning life, maths didn't really feature at all in that day.   Some of my fellow home educators teach maths along with English both important subjects and skills to have.  At the moment I don't teach anything and I have yet to be convinced that I need to teach any Maths but time will tell.....

My children have both learned to count in their own time and in their own way.  In many ways counting and understanding numbers is one of the hardest concepts to understand for a young child,  especially as when you get beyond ten the numbers don't follow a pattern, eleven, twelve....  It is not surprising really that many children leave primary school unable to count or understand numbers.  It is one thing to be able to count to ten or further but it is another skill to be able to use and manipulate those numbers.  It is important to me that I do not mention adding up, taking away or multiplication until I am absolutely sure my children have fully understood numbers.  In my opinion this skill needs to be there first, it would be a bit like trying to build a house without digging the foundations properly.  What do I consider to be fully understanding numbers?  Well I think they need to be able to count in the correct order, both forwards (1 - 10) and backwards (10 - 1), if you ask them a number they know what comes next without having to count out up to that number. Playing board games with them is an excellent way of helping this skill.  The dice will also help with pattern recognition which is another maths skill.

My eldest prefers to learn on his own, he resists most activities I suggest.  This does not particularly concern me but has meant that if I want to ensure that he is learning maths skills all the time that I find resources that enable him to find out about maths.  I have bought a few maths stories from this series but I was very disappointed in them.  The concepts were at his level but the story was so simple and basic, they are a simple picture book style with a few sentences on each page, that he just wasn't interested in them.   I have yet to find any stories that are entertaining for him to read and at his level of maths understanding but I will keep looking..........if you have any recommendations would love to hear them!  I discovered a series of books which have fitted the bill but are sadly not stories,  Murderous Maths are like the Horrible History books if you know about them but are about maths not history.  We have found a few of the books in secondhand book shops and now have quite a collection.  I have realised in the last week that he now understands the concepts of fractions and percentages learnt about through these books.  I also bought one of the books by Rob Castaway who has written many books on Maths.  I have found him reading this on many occasions so we may be adding more of his books to our collection.  He also asks questions, which we do our best to answer by helping him to understand how we got to our answer, rather than just giving him the answer.

I have yet to work out how my youngest will want to progress with maths.  She is still at the learning numbers stage.  We are playing lots of board games and a set of number games that I acquired called NumberStart by Living and Learning.  We are also make good use of the book mentioned in this post, Learn to Count.

We have a box of cuisenaire rods which I bought as I used them as a child and loved them.  They have not been used much for actual maths but the children do love making pictures with them, I am sure that this is a useful use for them but I have yet to work out what they are actually learning by doing this.  There are many resources that you can use alongside these rods but my eldest has not been interested in any of these, maybe my youngest will when she is older.

That is what maths looks like in our house at the moment!

November

November.  A month of fading colours.  A birthday celebration.  Candles at breakfast to give us light.

They have been replaced with the white of snow, the deep green of the evergreens, the brown of the plants and the blue grey skies.

The colours of the seasons are beautiful when we look them out.

Moments...

...this week of...

...happiness seeing my brother and how he has improved in the month since his accident, a quiet week at home hiding from the Christmas madness, a walk in the woods in less than good weather we all thought it was great fun!

...sadness at the insidiousness of advertising

...creating bunting, rows on a scarf, a finished vest, a sock, Lussekatter

...reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt and  Mrs Sinclair's Suitcase by Louise Walters, to the children Tumtum and Nutmeg's Christmas Adventure by Emily Bearn, and these picture books you can read a short review of them here, 285. Anthony Ant's Creepy Crawly Party by Lorna and Graham Philpott, 286. Anthony Ant's Treasure Hunt by Lorna and Graham Philpott, 287. Sparkle Street: The Daisy Disaster by Vivian French, 288. Where in the World is Bob? by James Bowen, 289. Polly's Pink Pyjamasby Vivian French, 290. The Gift by Carol Ann Duffy, 291. Otto the Book Bear by Kate Cleminson.

...learning about Castles, how to identify trees in Winter, St Nicholas, St Lucia, a fairy house and garden, gnomes, angels

...thinking about all those who do not have a warm house at this very cold time of year

...wondering if I have time to make some bunting for our house

...hoping to get all my Christmas makes finished by the weekend

...enjoying this

...looking forward to finishing a scarf this week which it feels like I have been knitting for months (I have!) the end is now in sight......

Choices

We make many choices in life, many of them we forget about in minutes but those major ones, the important sometimes life changing ones that we don't make in minutes and can last a lifetime what are they based on.  We can agonise and think deep based on our past experiences, our beliefs, who we are and how we are.  It is interesting to find out what lies behind a choice but when they are different it seems that others think they have the right to question and criticise but I don't believe we should ever sit in judgement.

Over 20 years ago I made the decision to stop eating meat.  I was a student and had compete control over what I was eating after years of my mums wonderful cooking.  I found myself buying the same sort of food that she cooked including meat which I realised I did not really enjoy eating that much, so I stopped buying it.  I remember well cooking my first packet of lentils, they tasted revolting.  I cooked them in water and nothing else, they are pretty bland without an added flavour of some kind.  It was a steep learning curve, cooking anything involved a bucket of ingredients and more time.  Although my initial decision was based on dislike I did eventually give up fish and then food with animal products such as gelatin and isinglass as I came to think more about the ethics of the food I was eating.  I am not a massive fan of labels but I am vegetarian, I eat eggs, cheese and yogurt (pure milk makes me ill) which apparently makes me a lacto-ovo vegetarian.

There are many choices we can make when it comes to the food we eat, I have chosen a vegetarian diet but I would not, ever, try to persuade anyone to do the same. I really struggle with vegetarians who get on their high horse and ram their diet down others throats.  It is important to me that anyone making such an important decision has done so for their own reasons not mine.  I am not bringing my children up as vegetarians and in my household I am the only one who doesn't eat meat and fish.  I cook it, occasionally.  The meat we buy always comes from a farmers market and we have visited some of these farms.  At the moment I am wrestling with milk, not physically that would be rather messy and ultimately rather smelly.........., no it is the ethics of its production, keeping a cow in an endless cycle of pregnancy or birth in order to ensure a continuous supply and after four to six years they are, unsurprisingly, exhausted.  But it is so easy to be so far removed from our food these days isn't it.  However we buy our milk it is just a white liquid we keep in the fridge we have bought it and know nothing about the life of the cow that has produced this for us.  But not buying milk would for me mean no more cheese and yogurt both of which I love and eat in large quantities, choices are never easy are they?

For now I will continue as I am, partly because to not make a choice is in fact a choice in itself but also because I need an alternative.  Cheese is an important source of protein for me and more importantly for my growing children.  If we stopped eating dairy cheese the alternative is cheese made with plant ingredients including soya, I am yet to be convinced that these are a better alternative.  So I continue to give it some occasional thought along with the thoughts that all the pulses I eat are not produced in the UK and the food miles they rack up to get to me are probably way too high................hmmm I  am off to do my shopping!

Gifts

I try to make as many of the presents I gift as I can.  During the year the birthdays often pile up one on top of the other leaving me frazzled at times until I remind myself that it is ok to buy some presents, I only have so much time.  At Christmas there are many presents to gift all at once, in years past I have knitted many of them.  I am not a particularly fast knitter so find myself starting projects in August to get them all done in time.  I really didn't want to continue with this as it means that for half of each year I am knitting Christmas presents and the Autumn birthdays don't get a look in, so I have turned to sewing.  Oh so much quicker and some of the bit and pieces I have made using small pieces of fabric in my stash.  Stash is perhaps giving it a status that it is not worthy of, I only buy material for specific projects my stash consists of the leftover bits.

When I visited my mum earlier in the year I noted that she was using a sturdy paper bag to carry her music and stand to her lessons and the orchestra she plays with.  Always on the look out for ideas for presents I decided to make a bag.  I measured the paper bag and used those measurements to construct something myself a lined bag with a magnetic closure to stop all the contents spilling out.  I had a dabble at a spot of appliqué on the outside it's not something I would want to do loads more of but rather adds to the bag don't you think?

I always need a few small presents to gift to the children of friends we spend New Year with, flicking through one of my sewing books I found the very thing, (a place for) everything baskets.  Small pieces of fabric, a small amount of ribbon and some interfacing and you can make something which looks lovely and is useful too.  What more could you ask for in a project.  I have ended up making six of these so far, they are so quick I can whip one up start to finish in an hour!  Perfect!  I am going to make three more for this Christmas and I can see these being the birthday present for many children next year maybe with a wee piece of treasure inside?

During my youngest's birthday party earlier this year one of the mums was finishing off a sewing project, she was making something that I knew I would want to make for myself and maybe as a gift at a later date.  I haven't got round to making them for myself but thought they would make the perfect gift for my brother and his partner.  The pattern can be found in this book which is full of projects to make reusing and repurposing fabric you have to hand, I have to confess that I bought the fabric, just enough, to make these.  These are hot pads or trivets and have padding inside, I did repurpose some old towels for that part.

I still have some bunting to make and the last two knitted projects are progressing well on the needles.  I hope that I will not have the frantic Christmas Eve finishing off and wrapping up as I have in years past.........

Linking up with Nicole

Moments...

...this week of...

...happiness getting my Christmas cards made, finding a lovely way to celebrate Advent with the children, a quiet week at home, orchestra rehearsal

...sadness at the tragic death of a young woman and her baby in the news this week

...creating a toddler vest, a slowly growing scarf, Christmas Cards, an Advent tradition, stars, fabric storage baskets, fabric trivet/hotpads

...reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt, to the children Tumtum and Nutmeg's Christmas Adventure by Emily Bearn, and these picture books you can read a short review of them here, 278. Nat the Cat's Sunny Smile by Jez Alborough, 279. Pip and Posy: The Big Balloon by Axel Scheffler, 280. The Crocodile Under the Bed by Judith Kerr, 281. Walk with a Wolf by Janni Howker, 282. Suddenly by Colin Mc Naughton, 283. Use you Imagination by Nicola O'Byrne, 284. Angelina's Christmas by Katherine Holabird

...learning about Castles, Dinosaurs, Advent, St Andrew, St Nicholas, minerals and rocks, how to tie shoelaces

...thinking about presents!

...wondering about casting on a pair of socks

...hoping that I can finish the last few bits on my Christmas present to my brother and his partner

...looking forward to seeing my brother at the weekend, he is recovering well from his accident

Writing

A few weeks ago I seriously considered giving up writing this blog.  I have many ideas for future posts but I do find writing them very time consuming, writing does not come naturally to me, but in the same week I read something that made me change my mind.  It really helped to put things into perspective.

I was articulate as a child, still am, I am a confident speaker happy to stand in front of a room full and people and talk.  In my last job I had to do this frequently, my audience volunteers who in their professional lives were often older and far higher up the management ladder than me.  Armed with a card of word prompts I could deliver presentations, workshops and training sessions without hesitation, but ask me to write a letter, which I had to do often, it would take me all morning.

At 18 just before sitting my final school exams, one of my teachers informed me that she thought I had wasted the previous two years studying English as I was never going to pass*.  Aside from the fact that no teacher should ever speak like that to a student, what she and all my other teachers in the 14 years I spent at school failed to recognise and help me with is why I had such difficulty writing.  The flow of my words was disjointed, I rambled and often didn't make sense, I scraped through exams and my essays were always given low marks.

So when I was reading in a chapter in a book by Michael Rosen about reading and writing....'it's not just a matter of learning off pat some good words or sentences, you have to learn the special kind of 'voice' that is the writing 'voice','  it made me stop, completely and the fog cleared.  I read on about other facets of writing that can be hard to learn such as commenting on what it is we're actually writing or the way that you explain are more types of writing voice.  Was I perhaps trying to write using the wrong voice.  Could it be that for all of these years I have been trying to write using my speaking or talking voice.  I am not so stupid that I didn't realise that there was a difference between these two forms of communication but I had no idea, practically, how they were different.

It explains to me why my teachers were always surprised at my inability to do well in exams or essay writing when I came across so articulate.  It explains why my boss in my last job informed that he was hesitant to take on as my writing skills tested in interview were poor.  It explains why for years I had jobs where writing was not integral part of the job.

So why on earth would I even want to blog.  Well I have always wanted to improve my writing and be better at it.  I am never going to be a blogger who can sit at the keyboard and rattle off a quick post ** but, maybe, just maybe I will find that writing voice that has been eluding for so long.......

***************

*I did pass A Level English, with a C grade (these exams are graded from A - E, A being the top mark)

**It usually takes me a whole day, on and off (more on than off) to write a post of this length.

Hibernation

The season is changing.  We are moving into winter, a slow grey time of year.  The trees are ready for the winter, their leave lie at their feet.  The seed heads of flowering plants remind us that there is new life ahead after this pause in the cold.

Slow Living

It is always lovely to look back and reflect on what you have done over the previous weeks or months, taking stock, observing changes and celebrating achievements.  Even better if you can join together and see hat others have been doing too in their part of the world, blogging is a wonderful way of making the world a smaller place.  Christine over a Slow Living Essentials started this wonderful reflection and has now passed the baton onto Linda at Greenhaven for the monthly linkup  here are mine for November...

...nourish we have moved into root season, most of what we eat over the coming months is root vegetables.  I am loving this at the moment but I know by early Spring I will be yearning for the lightness of some Spring veg which is always slow in coming.  For now we are enjoying the delights of Colcannon and Root Veg and Blue Cheese Bake amongst others.

...prepare I have made a lot of soup this month eating some but much of it ending up in the freezer to be used over the coming months for extras at lunch when we fancy soup as well as whatever else we are having.  I have also made a huge batch of rolls, instant lunch!

...reduce we celebrated a birthday this month which always means more stuff coming into the house. It is at birthdays and Christmas that I usually have a big clear out.  So this month I have been finding bits and pieces from all over the house that we make no use of anymore.  I regularly clear out the children's clothes with the changes of the season anyway this was about books, toys and similar.  I had a huge bag of books and games to take to the charity shop, it was so heavy I am surprised I managed to carry it!  The spaces they left have soon been filled by the piles of things without homes!

...green despite my making considerable use of it I have realised that I have never posted about bicarb of soda or as some call it baking soda.  Since finding that I could not tolerate Limonene on my skin, an ingredient in all the household cleaners and toiletries in my house I have been using this as a replacement.  It has become my shampoo, my surface cleaner on all surfaces including floors, a carpet deodoriser, to make deodorant and toothpaste, a dishwasher powder and a washing powder for clothes!

...grow you would be forgiven for thinking that not a lot was growing in my garden at the moment given the cool temperatures at this time of year but I have been amazed to find that some lettuce plants that I sewed late in the summer are still going strong.  We are having regular frosts but still these plants are fine.  They are not growing but they are big enough that I can pick leaves each week for my lunch!  This month has been about tidying up in the garden, weeding and dead heading.  My compost bin is very grateful for the extra food!  I have sown garlic and spring bulbs in readiness for next year.  I have also got round to doing a job I have been meaning to do for about five years, dividing my rhubarb plant.  You can only do it in the dormant period of the plant which is about now, end of Autumn/beginning of Winter.  It is usually so horrible weather wise at that time of year, either we are covered in snow or it is wet and grey, but it is now done, I am hoping that I have not killed the plant of completely time will tell.......

...create it has been another busy month on the creative front, making presents mostly.  I have sewn up a bag for my mum to carry her music out and about in, I noticed she was using a sturdy paper bag when I last visited.  I have also sewn five fabric bowls from this lovely book they are really quick to make up!  I have also made another cape a birthday present for a friend of my youngest.  My needles have been busy too making hats, one for me, and one you can read about below, and rows on a cardigan for me, a vest and a scarf as a present.  I also managed to finish of a cardigan that has been waiting for buttons and ends weaving in, it is lovely and warm, perfect of the cooler weather we now have.

...discover I love to cook, always from scratch.  I posted about my recipe books and how I use them earlier this month.  I have come across a few books recently on the web that are about the wonderful food of the Middle East, of Lebanon, Iran, Syria to name but a few and I discovered one in the library that I have been reading this month.  It is the best kind of book about food, one with recipes interwoven with life, in this case that of the author Anissa Helou.  The recipes make me want to head straight into the kitchen and start chopping.

...enhance I knitted a hat this month, nothing special in that I suppose but it was knitted for a lady I have never met nor am I likely too.  A fellow blogger put out a request for knitted hats for a friend of hers who was about to start chemotherapy, the hats were to keep her head warm in the cold of winter as the chemo usually results in hair loss.  The hat was knitted and sent to the US with my best wishes for her recovery.

...enjoy the highlight this month has been celebrating the birth of my eldest.  He turned ten which felt like a significant age to reach, I am sure I will say that when he reaches other ages in the next few years too!  In some ways it doesn't feel as if I have been a parent for ten years, but in others well.........!  We didn't have a party because that is not my eldest's style we had three days of fun.  First with a day out birdwatching, the middle day his actual birthday we spent at forest school and the last day he had a friend over for an afternoon play and tea.