27 October 2012

Apprehensive

I am going to visit my parents today, I have not seen them since February I am really looking forward to seeing them again as are the children but, I am also slightly apprehensive too.

My parents are building a house in their garden for them to move into, this house is almost ready but not quite.  Their old house is big, too big for them as they move through the years hence the decision to build a slightly smaller one in the garden.  The old house is our family home, they moved there when I was two.

One of my brothers is more than likely going to live in the old house, in fact he has already moved in.  He was renting, the new house was supposed to be ready at the end of August so he gave notice on his rental property to move out in August.  Since then six people and two houses worth of stuff is in the old house!  Slowly, since then, my parents have been moving their stuff into the new house to give my brother and his family more room.

So why am I apprehensive?  Since the building started last year I have visited every couple of months and watched the land change from a garden to the beginnings of a house, when I last visited the house it was a shell, it had a roof but no windows or internal walls, outside the landscaping there was, was the same as when I lived there.  I know this has all changed.  Since my parents mooted this idea many years ago I have always had a tinge of apprehension about them moving out and changing the land that was my family home.  My childhood memories are all locked up there, I have visited many many times as an adult, I have a strong connection to it even though the house has been almost completely redecorated since I moved out.  I have seen pictures of the new house it looks, as I expected, beautiful inside my parents have very good taste.  Beautiful as it may be I will have no connection.

I am apprehensive because despite the fact that my parents have not moved out of their own home my sister in law has already started to redecorate.  She is the sort of person who wants everything sorted and right very quickly, as a result she has to do so as cheaply as possible to be able to afford it.  Whilst there is nothing wrong with this approach it does mean that we have very different tastes.  I fully understand that if my brother and his family are going to stay in the old family home long term they will want to make their mark on it.

I am also apprehensive that my parents, brother and family have had time to get used to these changes.  They have lived alongside the changes happening and have had time to get used to them. I have not,  I am going to see all these changes at once.  I hope they give me the time and space to get used to them too and don't force me to think they are wonderful straight away.

I am highly likely to be absent from this space in the next week as my parents have no phone or Internet connection yet, so if I am away have a lovely week and I will catch up again on my return.

Better leave this space and go get packing......

2 comments:

  1. You'll be picking this up when you get back! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for the duration of youur stay, that all will be well.

    San xx

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  2. Oh, I can completely understand your apprehension. I have very strong connections to the homes I grew up in. I hope it goes ok x

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